Okay, I'm a 15-year-old female in the US.
To start off, I have not been diagnosed with social anxiety. I have never seen a professional who can do so.
However, I am often paranoid that people are staring at and judging me whenever I am in a place with many people. I also HATE (I cannot stress this strongly enough) talking on the phone, which has sometimes hurt my friendships because my friends think I'm "ignoring" them, which I do feel guilty of doing.
And don't even get me started about public speaking. If I have to stand in front of a group of people, I immediately start to sweat, have shortness of breath, feel the need to urinate, and shake uncontrollably. Now I know a lot of people have this issue, however my shaking is so noticeable and people constantly point it out, which makes my paranoia about people always judging me even worse.
Anyway, as I said before, I have not been diagnosed with social anxiety, so I cannot say for sure, but I wish to see a professional and get help because I really am a confident person, but whenever I'm in large groups, all my confidence slips away and makes me feel worthless and pathetic.
The worst part is that my mum refuses to help. She thinks I am simply "shy" (which I also am) and should just "grow out of it." And there is no way that she will take me to talk to someone, because she thinks I'm lying about my problems. I once told her that I was feeling depressed and suicidal (not over my social anxiety; this was about something else) and she told me to stop lying and exaggerating my problems, which i honestly wasn't doing, because I am, for the most part, a mature person, and I realize that life isn't perfect.
So here's what I need. I need to see someone to find out if I have a problem (I'm pretty sure I do, since it's affecting my life), and if I do, I want to get help. The problem is that I am a minor, I cannot drive, and I am completely dependent on my parents. And they refuse to help. Is there anything I can do to help myself.
And even if I can't see a professional, should I read self-help books or something? I don't think those will help me, because I would be too scared to take the first step. I really wish I could do CBT, but again, I don't know for sure if I have social anxiety. -__-
In terms of seeking out help, you have a few options. You can get an appointment with your GP and speak to them about your concerns - say to your Mum it is a general appointment and see the GP alone if needed.
Or, as it sounds like you are still in school - seek the help of a school counsellor, who may well be able to help you, or offer other means of gaining support (as an alternative adult whose care you are under, for example, they could take you to the GP).
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Yeah, I was considering bringing it up to my GP, although I've only recently gotten health insurance and been to see her once, and that wasn't even my real doctor because she was absent. So I've never really met her before. I might just have to tell my school counselor because my mum is so nosy but doesn't care, so I might not be able to get my doctor alone. But the counselors at my school really aren't the kinds of people who enjoy helping kids. Not to mention, having this social phobia constantly makes me feel like people are judging me, and I'm usually fine if it's just me and another person, but if I have to bring up my problems or talk about my personal life..well, I'm not sure if I can do it. But I will muster up the courage, because I want to fix this. Now I'm just wondering how I can be alone in a room with my GP without my mum freaking out and breaking the door down.
Hmm...I sure hope so! I guess it's because the lady that I met with wasn't my real doctor...but still, she asked me questions like whether I was sexually active, while my mum was still in the room. I'm pretty sure that questions like these are supposed to be asked in private..or maybe I'm mistaken, but I know a lot of teens don't want their parents to know if they're having sex. I guess I'll just wait until I meet my real doctor.
You can get books on CBT and do it by yourself just as effectively as with a psycho.
I found that hypnotherapy CDs helped increase my confidence a little - you can download some of these online for free.
I used to be on anti-depressants (Citalopram) for a few years, which really helped to take the edge off my anxiety at first. I was pretty much mute (in public) at age 16, but after starting the medication I was able to speak almost normally in some situations.
If you can't talk to a GP, talking to your school counselor might be a good idea. If nothing else, it will be a good challenge for you to express your feelings out loud and confront some of your anxiety.
I was diagnosed with social anxiety by my psychiatrist at the beginning of this year, and although I'm not a professional, the majority of the symptoms that you have given are identical to mine, which strongly suggests that you have social anxiety. I'm 17 and went to see my doctor about it, because I also suffer from depression, and your doctor has a confidentiality agreement that means they are not allowed to give anyone information without your permission. But if you feel like you can't go to see your GP about it, then go and seek out help via your school, and they would be able to refer you to see your GP without the knowledge of your parents.
'To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all' - Oscar Wilde
Death is God’s way of saying you’re fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can’t fire me, I quit.
You can get books on CBT and do it by yourself just as effectively as with a psycho.
I found that hypnotherapy CDs helped increase my confidence a little - you can download some of these online for free.
I used to be on anti-depressants (Citalopram) for a few years, which really helped to take the edge off my anxiety at first. I was pretty much mute (in public) at age 16, but after starting the medication I was able to speak almost normally in some situations.
If you can't talk to a GP, talking to your school counselor might be a good idea. If nothing else, it will be a good challenge for you to express your feelings out loud and confront some of your anxiety.
Thanks for the hypnotherapy CDs recommendation; I will definitely look into that. And I might have to start antidepressants, because my anxiety runs hand-in-hand with my depression. Did you happen to use any self-help books? If possible, I'd like recommendations for good ones. I guess I need to take the first step and finally tell someone. *sigh* Taking the first step is always the hardest, but I think I can finally do it with the advice everyone is giving me. :)
I was diagnosed with social anxiety by my psychiatrist at the beginning of this year, and although I'm not a professional, the majority of the symptoms that you have given are identical to mine, which strongly suggests that you have social anxiety. I'm 17 and went to see my doctor about it, because I also suffer from depression, and your doctor has a confidentiality agreement that means they are not allowed to give anyone information without your permission. But if you feel like you can't go to see your GP about it, then go and seek out help via your school, and they would be able to refer you to see your GP without the knowledge of your parents.
I will definitely mention this to my GP if I can get some alone time with her. Now I strongly feel that I do have social anxiety, but I can't be sure until I go see someone. My mum had me feeling like I was exaggerating, but this is affecting my life, so I want to deal with it as soon as possible, because I'm afraid I'll have trouble with job interviews and such if I don't tackle this problem now. Thanks for the response!
Wow we have a lot in common. I get so paranoid when I'm out that people are looking at me and thinking I'm weird. And I hate talking on the phone as well. I avoid it as much as possible, I get freaked out about it at times. I've never as far as I know been daignosed with social anxiety but the first psychologist I saw said I had it, but I don't know if it went in my files as anything serious or was jut a passing comment. I've always been introverted and find it hard to talk to people. I find it a lot easier to write things down than to say them. Also studying drama made me more confident although that was a long time ago. That's the funny thing about me though. I love being on stage. I've never done public speaking but I'll get onstage and sing or dance or act and I love it. But it's like I get confident cos I put on an act, I'm being someone else sort of, not myself, and I find that easier, plus the lines are already written for me so I don't have to think of things to say myself. But when it comes to having conversations with people I'm awful, I just don't know what to say, unless it's somene I know well. I get terrified about going to social events too. But the last party i went to, I just didnt let myself think about it and get worked up, and in the end I really enjoyed it. I don't know what other tips I can give you but good luck in dealing with this. I feel it effects my life too, it really holds me back.
Wow we have a lot in common. I get so paranoid when I'm out that people are looking at me and thinking I'm weird. And I hate talking on the phone as well. I avoid it as much as possible, I get freaked out about it at times. I've never as far as I know been daignosed with social anxiety but the first psychologist I saw said I had it, but I don't know if it went in my files as anything serious or was jut a passing comment. I've always been introverted and find it hard to talk to people. I find it a lot easier to write things down than to say them. Also studying drama made me more confident although that was a long time ago. That's the funny thing about me though. I love being on stage. I've never done public speaking but I'll get onstage and sing or dance or act and I love it. But it's like I get confident cos I put on an act, I'm being someone else sort of, not myself, and I find that easier, plus the lines are already written for me so I don't have to think of things to say myself. But when it comes to having conversations with people I'm awful, I just don't know what to say, unless it's somene I know well. I get terrified about going to social events too. But the last party i went to, I just didnt let myself think about it and get worked up, and in the end I really enjoyed it. I don't know what other tips I can give you but good luck in dealing with this. I feel it effects my life too, it really holds me back.
We do have a lot in common! I express things so much better when I write...I'm afraid that if I even try to tell people about my problems, I just won't be able to explain well like I can here. I think I might write it all down and just hand it to my doctor when I get the chance. I tried doing theatre once, to force myself to be put on display, but my paranoia forced me to quit because there were some girls in my class that were the pretty and popular type. I'm usually not intimidated by these kinds of people, but again, if I have to do something in front of everyone, it scares me halfway to death. I almost always force myself to go to parties and stuff, and I actually do enjoy them, most of the time. When I do refuse, it's only out of exhaustion (being an introvert, I need to have alone time, as social interactions drain my energy). I think if I deal with this anxiety first, my depression might get better, along with my fantasy world thing. Also, I've been doing some research, and I've found that I have pretty much all the symptoms of AvPD, except for agoraphobia. I know I should stop self-diagnosing myself, but it's scary how accurately this disorder describes me. Btw, I just wanted to say, I love your signature! I recently started watching Skins. It's not really popular here in the U.S., except for the crappy American version they made, which was a failure. xD I love Cassie<3
I love Cassie too! Well obviously lol. To tell you the truth, I ended up quitting drama too cos I lost all my confidence and got totally paranoid that everyone was laughing at me all the time. And this was before I got sick. Well before I was treated anyway. I wrote a letter to my psych once self diagnosing, convined I had all sorts of things, he got cross with me and told me to stop looking things up. Just so you know, in case your doctor would be the same. I don't know about you but I just wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me and he wasn't telling me. ps. I also love Misfits too.
Yeah, I understand why doctors would be upset. That's why I don't want to diagnose myself, because I would probably be exaggerating some things. I'm not going to mention all the research I've done to my doctor. It's just for reassurance, so that, in case I do get diagnosed with something I've read about, I'm not totally freaking out and confused about it. I love Misfits too! But I'm so sad that Sheehan won't be returning for Series 3. :( Nathan was the life of the show. But I'm still going to watch it, and hopefully it won't go downhill.
Yeah I think it's natural for people to be curious about what's wrong with them and want to find out. I ended up actually being diagnosed with about the only thing I hadn't thought I had!
Yeah I know, it's crap that He won't be in the next series, bummer as they say in Skins. It won't be Misfits without him, he's hilarious. I'm waiting for my Misfits t shirt and badge set to arrive, I can't wait.
Awesome! I want some Misfits merch, but am currently on a budget. What shirt are you getting? I wanted one that said Monkey Slut on it, but I don't think my mum would let me walk around wearing something like that, haha.
I read a book called Instant Confidence by Paul Mckenna, which came with a hypnotherapy CD. However, I found all the exercises in the book too difficult, so I mainly just listened to the CD. Since then I've found several similar hypnotherapy mp3s online for helping increase confidence/reduce anxiety. The good thing about these is that you don't have to do anything - apparently you don't even have to listen consciously.
Well, I've downloaded a few hypnotherapy mp3s, but have yet to try them out. I'll try those first and then maybe I'll check out the book you mentioned or other ones. Thanks for letting me know.
Good luck with the hypnotherpay cds. let me know if they help. I also wanted the monkeyslut one but didn't get it for the same reason. I got the black skeletons one. They arrived today! I was already dressed so I just put the skelton badge on, I was gonna wear save me barry but the white one went best with what I'm wearing. I hope you get some funds to order one!
Awesome! Haha, I still crack up every time I hear "Save me Barry!" I love the orange hoodie they have, too. I don't think I can get one anytime soon, though, since it costs extra to ship here and the prices are in pounds, so it'll cost even more. D:
