im writing to ask for any help for my daughter who
self harms
i also self harm but i still dont know what to do
to help her
she refuses any help like counselling or anything so
i'm on my own
First off, I'm wondering how old your daughter is? If she is a minor, there are probably steps you could take against her will, as hard as that may be. Also, even if you do, she may still not stop.
Also, and I PROMISE I'm not placing blame but it will probably be very hard for her to stop while you are continuing to do it. So, getting help for yourself would be a great example for her.
That's about all I can think of right now. I'm a jumbled mess, lol. I hope things work out for you.
And if you need to keep posting, please do so. Vets can be slow with replying, so just give us time :)
I guess in many ways, if you think what might help you in overcoming your own self harm, that might also help her. Things like not pushing the idea of counselling too much, as she may just not feel ready for it (have you ever come across the cycle of change? might help with understanding that). Reassure her that she's loved, that you don't think anything differently of her just because she self harms, that you're there for her to talk but you're not going to force her to talk if she doesn't want you to. But I would also remind her that you do have a duty of care to her, and I'd forewarn her that if things do get more serious, you'd have to step in as her mother (if she's underage).
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
There's a possibility she is doing it because you do it. Have you thought about talking to her about your own self harm and saying how you know it's not the healthy thing to do and you would like to stop if you could, and maybe the two of you could work out some strategies to stop together?
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
Hi there.
The best thing someone ever said to me regarding self harm was:
"I would never ask you to stop, because if you stopped it could result in you doing something much worse to yourself"
That was the moment I started to come to terms with why I was doing it.
My advise would be to just try and talk to your daughter about why you self harm, how you feel about it, and when you started.
Maybe this would encourage her to talk to you about how she feels about her self harming and what it means to her.
I know saying "talk to her" is much easier said than done, but if you try every tactic then you'll have nothing to regret.
I think leading by example would be the best thing. However, youve recently joined here and i guess you are struggling yourself and i dont want to put undue pressure on you.
Perhaps a gentler approach? If she knows you self harm then rather than saying to stop you can perhaps try to be more open with each other and form a little support thing? It doesnt have to be indepth and heavy. Just as simple as checking on each other an making sure you are ok?
Perhaps gently saying to her what you did today to help yourself, rather than preaching to stop?
If you cant do this, then perhaps just be as supportive as you can. hugs and reassurances are really important. Just let her know you are there and you care. We all know how lonely and isolating this thing can make us.
Finally theres always the reverse psychology bit? Ever thought of asking her for help on getting you to stop? Look at all of us here vicariously helping ourselves by helping others. Perhaps she could help you?
What ever you decide, dont put your needs too far behind others. You are just as deserving.
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
