My cousin is 11 and I'm 18, she's always kind of copied things I do or wear. I know its normal for girls to look up to older girls they may know but its a bit of a problem. It's fine if I say I love watercolor painting so she takes up water colors, or if I start wearing a lot of purple and she starts wearing a lot of purple. It's not okay that she tried cutting because of me, she has been using cutting to manipulate her parents to get what she wants and she admitted that she got the idea of cutting from me. She's saying shes really depressed and suicidal and demands to be taken to the hospital. I heard her saying that she only does it to get her way and miss school when she doesn't want to go. She's making this really hard on me though because my family is blaming me for "inspiring" her behaviour. I've tried talking to her but she admitted that she just did these things to get her way when she was mad and her parents and they never said no when she did it so I couldn't really help her. I'm kind of stuck, she's acting out and manipulating people and saying she heard of cutting, depression, and suicide because of me.
Last edited by Kimaru : 07-08-2011 at 05:01 AM.
Reason: missed a word.
"Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more."
That must be hard, especially if they are blaming you, they shouldnt. Im presuming you do it for very different reasons to why she does it. Maybe talk to her parents and ask them to have a word with her, and explain that its not fair her manipulating them as she is doing and people who do cut themselves and think of suicide have "real" problems (if you can call it that).
Or maybe tell her that you've stopped (its only a white lie and its for her benefit) and tell her that she should stop to and follow in your footsteps that way. Not sure how possible that is for you though.
Im in such a similar position with my sister, except she wont admitt to copying me because for some reason she enjoys the attention of people thinking its her with the issues. I know its tough.
The best you can really do is talk to her parents, or your parents and try to get the message across. They might not believe it but you cant really do much else.
She might grow out of it, it sounds like she has problems with her own identity.
Good luck
x
I'm in a similar situation as Loopsie and Kimaru. Although, it's not a relative, it's my best friend. I admitted this year, that I had been cutting for a long time, and she started talking to me about it. Then, all of a sudden, she starts cutting, and saying she's depressed and showing them off to everyone like it's some kind of game. And then she gets the sympathy from the whole school when they send her home, because she had fresh marks on her arms, and wore a t-shirt to school. She did it on purpose to get attention. And then her parents start trying to get her help, and she complains about it, when all I wanted was to be able to go to a counselor, but now because of her, people think I'm copying HER and want attention because of HER. It makes me so mad!
~ I'll Paint You A Picture, I'll Paint It With A Twist, I'll Paint It In Red, With The Canvas On My Wrist.~
can you tell her parents what she has told you? about wanting the attention and all that? and the other thing... maybe she still needs some sort of help, if shes feeling the need to do this to get attention and care. or to get out of school (possibly something is overwhelming her there). i'm not saying that what she is doing is ok, but it may be a sign of something else that she needs some help with
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