I think I'm a bit odd..So other people must do to?
Hello all
I've a few concerns about myself at the minute and have had for a while now, its the same feelings and thoughts I've had from when I was an early teenager the negative voices in my head telling me , urging me to do negative things don't seem to have gone away. At 40 they seem to have become re-audible again.
They are negative voices telling me to hurt other people (people I think that have got it in for me) or hurt myself, I haven't self harmed in any way. But if I continue to hear the things I am, its inevitable.
I don't smoke or take drugs, I like the odd beer now and again.
I know that the feeling of being boxed in or pressured or bullied brings about this mood swing or plays a part in it at least.
Its a powerful urging message in my head which gives me a throbbing head ache, I can't concentrate on anything else.Its either utter mental hatred for myself and ways to cause myself an injury or that of similar thought about strangers.
I get to the point where basically I have to shut myself away from everyone and go to bed or be alone in some way.
I think when I wake up the voices will have gone, but steadily they appear again!
I find a way to be mentally angry with everyone and everything, it's not a good feeling.
Going to work, shopping or driving can be a nightmare!
I don't trust people, (I stopped trusting/getting to know people about 20 years ago for some reason or another) I don't have any true friends to speak of to date.
My existing family members are fragmented around the uk & I'm not really close to any of them.
Its just me, myself and I - always has been for as long as I can remember!
I don't indulge in social scenes of any type and never really have - I always seem to hide away or run away from any good situation in the past and more so in the future; IE I don't want to get involved with anyone or anything.
I do have a job at present I have a good career in the uk military and have been serving for some time. Which from the above paragraphs would probably confuse most readers reading this testimony.
As to why I'm not happy with myself and those around me?
I daren't go to the doctors as I think they may not take me seriously.
I have taken St'Johns Wort and Echinicea and other health remedies which lighten the mood in the past, but they stop working after a while.
So if anyone could advise me on what the next step for me to take to overcome this problem of hearing voices in my head. I'd be interested to hear your views as long as there non offensive.
Or maybe what I've described is normal and that I have nothing to worry about?
Can anyone reading this relate to what I've wrote?
I honestly think it's worth going to see your doctor asap.
I know you think they wont take you seriously, but just from reading what you wrote I can tell how much distress this is causing you, and anything that is making you feel this stressed and concerned is definitely something you should get checked out. There are steps your doctor can take to help you, have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist or therapist, or even talking to a close friend or family member? Someone who you can really trust.
In answer to something you mentioned toward the end of your post, no I personally don't think it's a normal thing to experience and even though I can't relate to most things you've written, I've researched A LOT into that type of thing because I get extreme anxiety and paranoia, which turned up a few surprising search results, schizophrenia being one of them. Maybe check out the NHS website to help you get an idea of the symptoms you're dealing with, and perhaps print off all the ones that mostly apply to you and take them with you to your doctor, and work through the symptoms with them. I'm not trying to give you a diagnosis or anything like that, I'm not a doctor so I'm not qualified to notice these sorts of things, but I do think that it sounds like something you really should go to a doctor about. If they do turn you away, persist and keep coming back because if the problem hasn't cleared up already, it's unlikely that it will without some help. Saying that though, try not to get too worried about it, just consider the fact that it could be something more serious.
I hope nothing here was offensive, it's just my opinion
:) x
"they think we're in heaven but we're living in hell"
I totally get this too, whenever I go out I'm always convinced everyone is looking thinking I'm weird. Because I think I am. I have derealisation (feelings of unreality) and it feels really weird so I think I must be weird and I'm sure people can tell but in truth people actually can't tell at all. I feel like I'm gonna snap one day, freak out like in public. I think it would be worth seeing a doctor. They've heard all sorts of things before, they're not there to judge you, they're there to help you. good luck.
ps. weightless I love your avator.
i went to see the doctors and they didnt take me seriously, but if they reject you go again but see a different doctor, one of them will have the sense to listen and refer you so you can talk to some one who understands about these things. It might be something from your past coming back in your subconscious but is coming out in this way? but keep trying to get through to someone thats all i can say
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
