hi im just wordering if anyone could help me i recently started suffering from panic attacks but was unsure what was going on i went to the doctors after it had happend, ive been seeing my doctor since i was 4 and he completely brushed me off and looked at me like i was completely carrying on about nothing! i went to see someone else who was recommended to me and was told im suffering from panic disorder and anxiety,she referred me to see a psychologist and i was put on medication!! i also found out on my dads side my great aunty suffers from panic disorder,anxiety and depression.
ive always been a really strong,motivated,passionate,excited,happy,out there,full of energy and i work hard for what i get!! but sometimes i get angry and very impatient and i get to the point of loosing it over nothing my dad is the same so i thought i just took after him. when i was a teenager i was pretty crazy and got mixed up with people i shouldnt of been hanging around with and started taking drugs so i use to think it was long term affects and thats why i was angry all the time,i never new what panic disorder was or axienty. im always putting myself down and i think im way to hard on myself and ive been told from a few people and that i do to much for people when i shouldnt and i should do more for myself! im the type of person that if you mention something to me ill remember and go over and over and over in my head, i never say no to people when they ask me for help and if i do later on ill start feeling guilty and think oh maybe i should said yes and its like i need someone tell me im being ridiculous and that i did the right thing!! i feel like i live at the doctors becoz i always think there is something wrong with me my family think im a hypercondriact!!! i read way to much into things aswel!! my psychologist thinks i justify myself way to much to people when i shouldnt and mentioned to me on the weekend i have bipolar symptoms..
I havent had the toughest life like some i thought i had it good im 23 years old and experianced alot more then people my age and people who are older then me have ,i always look back and think im glad i went through those things becoz i wouldnt be the person i am today!! i take pride in my job and never take sick days even if i am sick. i like my routine im the kind of person that always has something on or something to do and not alot of time over the past few years ive become really worried and i panic all the time over nothing worry about things i shouldnt be even worrying about!!! ive become a bit of a panic merchant!! a few years ago i went overs with my friend and her brothers friends and the whole time i felt alone i didnt want to go but she begged me to go becoz she hadnt been over seas befor and just broke up with her fiance we left on the friday and i was back in my country by sunday night we had had a huge fight and i wanted to come home so i did when i spoke to friends about it there would just say yeah thats just lauren or thats something lauren would do!
my mum has cancer and we were told the treatment had worked only to find out three months later it hadnt and she might only have a year!!
ever since then i fele like ive started to break down and thats why i have had the panic attacks
ive been thinking of all the things that have happend in the past comming home from bali is not normal at all im not sure if ive been making excuses up and i really have!!
the past 2 weeeks i have had 2 good days out of it,i break down all the time and cry, i cant concentrate at all i feel as tho i canot turn my brain off, the only time i get to relax is when i go to bed and even then i toss and turn for ages becoz i cant get comfortable i find it reallly hard to relax and i just dont understand why its happening to me. i feeel as though no one understand me and understands what im going through. i havent been to work becoz when im there i cant think and i stuff up becoz i cant concentrate properly my hands and arms feel as though there shaking all the time and i get worried people think im a weirdoi use to weigh x kilos and ive lost x kilos in 2 months i look terrible and im always wearing jumpers becoz im embarresed and i feel like people think i look like a skelaton im eating but sometimes skipping meals if there anyone else out there that could give me smoe advice i dont want to be like this and im finding it hard to cope and im stressed all the time. i worried i may have bipolar now its been mentioned and i dont kno if im over reacting
