Hi Loopsie,
Firstly, well done for posting. It sounds as if it has taken you a lot of courage to write this post. I'm really pleased you have though because hopefully we can help you and you will at least know that you are not alone.
Have you been able to identify what started your self harm? Also, was there a trigger for the increase in severity and frequency of self harm after your prom? These might be a good couple of questions to think about because understanding why you self harm will lead you to know more about how you can change that situation or to cope with it differently.
There are a lot of things that can help when stopping self harming but I think the most important thing is support. I'm guessing if this is the first time you have spoken out about this, there is no one in real life who knows what is going on for you? Is there anyone you would feel able to talk to? You don't neccessarily need to go in to a lot of detail with them but explain that you have been self harming but that you want to recover but need support whilst doing that. Of course you will have support here too, it's just nice to have a friend or family member who can be there for you as well.
You need to think about coping skills that you could use instead of cutting yourself. A way to get rid of the feelings or at least make them manageable. This could be via distractions - you will find lists around the site. You could write out your feelings or vent it through exercise. I have also found it helpful (when I am feeling okay) to write about why I want to give up self harm and what positives will come from this. I have also written the negatives to self harm - how it has impacted on my life for example.
There are also some questions you could ask yourself before self harming. I have found it helpful and although it can't always stop me self harming I have at least kept a record of it and over time if you have a few of these questions answered you might be able to piece bits together.
Here we go :
When you feel like harming…
Self harming rarely has an isolated cause. It is more usually a combination or accumulation of many factors. They may be linked or separate.
If you are feeling like harming right now, try to answer these questions :
1. What are you feeling right now?
2. Try to describe or draw what you are feeling.
3. What are the sensations?
4. Where are they (head, body)?
5. Is there anything going on in your life today that is making you feel this way?
6. What is this? (For example, being alone, something someone said)
7. Are there any other factors that are contributing to this? (For example, alcohol, lack of sleep, lack of food, not seeing anyone, seeing anyone, voices, pressures and frustrations)
8. What do you want to do?
9. How can you minimize the risks of damage - you might think about your safer options.
10. Can you do a deal with yourself, e.g. limiting depth or length of cuts?
11. What will harming do for you?
12. Do you feel any different now?
------------------------------------------------------------
I hope I have been of some help. I am recovering from self harm as well and have been doing it for 11 years. It is tough but try and faith in yourself and believe that you can get through this. Take it one day at a time, or less if you have too.
I always apply this quote to myself : "Never give up on giving up".
Take care sweetie,
Lots of love,
Lottie xx
|
