Contains sexual abuse - First time saying any of this...

Lost_in_Life · 27-07-2011, 05:36 AM

I'm gonna try to finally talk about what happened. Don't know how far it'll get but here goes nothing I guess.
It happened almost two months ago now. He was my boyfriend at the time and we had just come back from a week at his parents house. We's been invited to a party down the hall and he'd been drinking some. He was walking me back to my apartment, but instead of leaving and going to his he kissed me so we went into the living room for a bit and madeout. Nothing new with us since we'd been dating since Christmas, but then he started to get a little handsy. He knew that I hadn't been with anybody and that I didn't want to yet so I was surprised at furst and asked him to stop but he kept grabbing for me so I pushed him away and told him to go because he was drunk but he said no and started to say rude things about me sexualy... umm, he came after me again and pinned me to the floor and started to grab at me again and stuff.

Once it was over he just got his clothes and left. I woke up couple of hours later I guess and I got dressed and went to the hospital and went through all of that to get blood work done and all. That was just as bad really.
Umm, guess that's it really. Haven't spoken to him since but had to see him in the halls a couple of times or something but I just go the other way. Not really sure if it's really what others call it or if maybe he didn't know what he was doing becasue he was drunk. He tried to apologize to me in the hallway shortly afterwards but I just ran back to my apartment. Nobody knows anything about what happened and from what I've heard he made up some story about us fighting and we broke up to explain why we're not together anymore.
umm, guess that's it?

hiddenscars · 27-07-2011, 12:49 PM

It was brave of you to talk about it after keeping to yourself for so long. And it doesn't matter if he was drunk or not, he knew what he was doing to you.
PM me if you want. You're not alone here.

troubleshooter · 27-07-2011, 03:04 PM

*hugs* That was really brave of you to talk, good job doing so. Like Ashley said, it doesn't matter if he was drunk--that's rape. *hugs more* It's not your fault. You said no and you tried to make him stop. It doesn't matter if he was drunk, he did wrong.

Lost_in_Life · 27-07-2011, 06:12 PM

Yeah but is it truly, that, if he was my boyfriend at the time? Part of me wonders if it was my fault because I let him in when I knew he'd been drinking.

Frail Existence · 27-07-2011, 07:02 PM

not your fault. even if was your boyfriend or not or if was drunk or not. NONE is. brave to say and post. good job Avril :) (think got name right)

needle girl · 27-07-2011, 08:41 PM

Doesnt matter that you were in a relationship; husbands can be charged for raping their wife. *offer safe snuggle* sorry that happened

Lost_in_Life · 27-07-2011, 09:05 PM

I don't know. I guess.
Thanks for the support and all

hiddenscars · 29-07-2011, 05:53 AM

How are you doing right now hun? Sometimes it's tough dealing with stuff after you've opened up about it. I hope you're well.

Lost_in_Life · 31-07-2011, 05:50 AM

I'm okay I guess.
Having flashbacks again but they never really went away. Thanks for asking :/

hiddenscars · 01-08-2011, 01:57 AM

Speaking from my experience, the flashbacks won't go away quickly. They'll come less often and you'll heal and move on, but they don't just disappear. I'm hear if you need me.

Mr Ivanov · 24-02-2014, 10:29 AM

Very brave of youi know it must be hard to share that. well done. I no us guys can be total dicks at times but what he did was wrong. who cares if he was drunk that not an exuses ( sorry not to good with some spelling) . what he did was rape.it brave of you to share. i now that if you still like or love him may not want to do but call police teell them if not done already. who knows how many he done that to. maybe if you speak up other people may to. im sorry that happened to you. hope you are doing ok. take care and you can PM me if want.