I just dont understand...

KayHusky · 20-07-2011, 07:50 PM

Let me start off like this. Im 19, i live in an amazing house with my boyfriend and his family, im a fashion design major in school, i've already found and started my future career, i have everything and more that i could ever want at this time of my life... and yet... im not happy... well, i am happy, but im in a depression stage. i have been for the past 6-8 months now. and i cant understand why. my boyfriend can even tell and it makes him sad to think that im not happy with him or my life, but i am, i just cant stop crying, cant stop looking down on myself...

i want to change, i want to be happy and FEEL happy, but i just don't know how... my cat even can feel it and every time i start to feel the way i do she comes up to try to make me feel better but it just doesn't happen. my boyfriend even tries and sure that helps a little but a little isn't enough, i want to be happy...

i WANT to show him that im happy with him and his family and the life that he's giving me... but no matter how much i want it, it just seems like im out of reach. when anyone asks me whats wrong... i cant tell them because even i don't know...

can anyone out there give me some advice? i don't have insurance so i cant go see anyone about it in the medical field. is anyone can help me, even in the slightest, please post. i would really love that.

Thank you

MrsCoulter · 21-07-2011, 07:58 PM

I know what oyu mean about having everything and feeling depressed. It's hard to live like that - in fact it's not living - it is merely existing.

Are you in the US cos you mention insurance? if so I believe there is something called Medicaid?

I wish I could help but as I say, I'm in a bit of a funk too - depression really does suck but just know I am here if you want to chat - you can just PM me and I will give you my email if need be xx

Geranium · 21-07-2011, 10:51 PM

Happiness is not something that can be forced. If you are feeling bad right now, that's the way you are feeling, and to a degree it can help to accept that until it passes. You sound like you feel guilty about it, and there's no need to. It's quite common for people with lots of good things in their lives to get depressed.

It might be worth having a look into CBT, (cognitive behavioural therapy) which you can do online or from a book. There is a web site called moodgymn which you could check out.

hope that is a slight help
xx