I don't know what I really want - anyone else?

[Stellata]

Has anyone else ever got to a point where you might be getting something [a situation, rather than a thing] that you thought maybe you wanted, but then when it comes to a point, you realise that you don't even know what you actually do want?
I'm learning to be 'ok' with that not knowing. Just sit with it.
Just wondering if anyone else experienced similar, this 'actually, what DO I want? I don't know...' thing.

[Hurricane]

I'm there ALL the time. I think to myself "Oh, this will be great! I will get to do this and this and this..." and then when I get it I'm bored within a few moments, or I realize that it's not exactly what I planned on. I have started to think only day to day when it comes to things I want. Live for the moment sorta deal.

[pea soup]

Hi Katie,

I'm not sure how similar this will be but I go back and forth with the work issue. My doc won't sign me off to work yet but sometimes I feel that I am extremely capable and other times I feel it's worthless to even try.

I know I have gotten much better over the years. I have been on disability for 6 years now and am far from where I used to be mentally. But it's been so long since I've been around many people or in a working environment. So, yes...sometimes I feel as if I'm where I need to be (continuing to work on my health) and sometimes I feel like I just want to jump right in to work.

Hope that made a bit of sense.
xxx

[InvestigatorIX]

I get the same thing you do pea_soup. I know I can't cope with that right now, but every now and again I think I should get back on that particular ride.

I think not knowing what you want is hard. I don't know sometimes and sometimes that hurts a lot, most of the time I just do what's immediately most alluring and try not to consider the longer term. I know other people who have the same problem and it's not an easy one to deal with, feeling that you're supposed to know what you want.

[Stellata]

Thanks everyone.

[effervescence]

Yes, but I've convinced myself that the current situation IS what I want, because I can't keep chopping and changing my life around I just need to learn to stick with it so I can actually move forward and make some progress as a functioning adult member of society.

[Stellata]

For me, in work for example, the situation has been stable for nearly 8 years. I've never done the changing everything around for a long long time. I have a tendency to stay with things, clinging onto them stubbornly because I'm terrified of change. Like, I stuck with teaching way longer than I should have done for my own health and wellbeing, and tried to change but was going in the wrong direction. I never grew up having healthy choices explained to me, eg in career choice, so this is all new territory for me.
I've only just made that connection. Interesting. :) Thanks.

[dollpart]

*support*
and also yes, I get that too- I have few words at the moment but you're not alone.

[Stellata]

Thank you. :)