Self soothing and reminding myself that I can get through this
Does anyone have any self soothing strateges that work? I find it really hard to self soothe as I wasn't shown how to as a child, I long for other people to support me when times get tough but people can't be there for me all of the time. When I feel scared or distressed I usually say to myself "it's alright, Lindsay" and that helps a little but when things are really bad it doesn't. I also need a way to remind myself that I can get through the difficult times because when i'm in an 'episode' I feel like it is the first and last time that I will feel that way. I do believe that things get more difficult for me each time I get distressed but my care team say that it just seems that way if I have had a period of being relatively well. I have thought about writing something down but I don't know what to write or where to put it. I have a rainy day letter, book, and box but I keep forgetting to use them.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
This may sound squiffy, but have you ever done any inner child work? It can be a fine line to walk, though, with ensuring you understand you can get adult needs met in the present, and knowing that you cannot get now what you needed then in the form that you needed it then. Does that make sense?
Self soothing can be anything from having a hot bubble bath with some lavender oil in it, painting your nails, curing up in a.blanket with a hot water bottle, massaging yourself with moisturiser, cussing a teddy, watching a nice film and having a hot chocolate, laying on your bed with an insence stick burning. Anything you find comforting, even having a friend round watch films and eat ice-cream
There are several workbooks you could use, John Bradshaw's 'Homecoming' I have used a lot, and also 'Recovery of your inner child' by Linda Capachionne. I did some work before I started therapy [spurred on by a book I had lent to me]. I have also done some work outside of therapy while in therapy. But be careful if you land up in very early feelings, as you really need support with facing them safely so that you stay in present reality when needed.
I agree with Katie that inner child work can be good - but I think best with therapy and the advice that goes with it.
Self soothing to me is about knowing what things can help distract and calm you. For me, this tends to be hugging a plushie (I have lots) or listening to music through youtube (I tend to like having something visual as well). In some ways, it is worth thinking of them as the things you would do to soothe your inner child when distressed.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I tend to find myself soothed when as many of my senses are being comforted as possible, if that makes sense! So I listen to classical music (that I know well and is soothing - not anything I'm not familiar with), keep my hands busy (rub in handcream, sewing, toy to hold) and burn essential oils that are calming esp. lavender and vetivert. Any of these can work sometimes on their own, but all together seems to tell my brain more effectively that "I am ok". I tell myself that "I am ok" like a mantra too sometimes:)
I tend to find myself soothed when as many of my senses are being comforted as possible, if that makes sense! So I listen to classical music (that I know well and is soothing - not anything I'm not familiar with), keep my hands busy (rub in handcream, sewing, toy to hold) and burn essential oils that are calming esp. lavender and vetivert. Any of these can work sometimes on their own, but all together seems to tell my brain more effectively that "I am ok"
^^ Soothing multiple senses at once can be good. Although I sometimes can not cope with it, as I get sensory overload.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
when u say you dont no what to write usually i just write whatever comes into my head like how im feeling and stuff whats made u upset aswell.
i would maybe try and think of things that you like to do to help you relax have like a playlist of music u like to listen to, paint your nails maybe (i like this as im abit ocdish about it they have to be straight smooth and perfect!) lol take a nice bubble bath, straighten your hair, go for a walk just anything really that will help you calm down and relax.
