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08-07-2011, 02:43 PM
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#1
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Blu
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
I am currently:  
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Contains Abuse - Someone sit with me please?
The anniversary of a trauma is approaching & I feel sick. I've been trying to keep it together so no-one saw how bad I'm feeling, but last night I just burst out crying & now my girlfriend knows I'm upset. She doesn't know why. I can't tell her. I feel so sick. I want her to know, but it'll hurt her & I can't risk that.
I don't know what to do, I'm too scared to go outside, but she's gone to get me food I'm shaking. I keep looking & talking to my rats to take my mind off it but nothing's working. I keep getting urges to stab myself to get rid of that horrible feeling in my stomach or to take loads of tabs to make me throwup until it's gone, but I can't. My body is too weak to even move to get anything to hurt myself. I generally dissociate through this kind of stuff but today I'm here through it all.
I wanna tell my girlfriend to call the doctor for me, but what's the point?
Just need a hand.
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Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters
Plumeria Sister
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08-07-2011, 04:55 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cornwall
I am currently: 
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I heard you *hugs*
Do you have any kind of mental health support? It would really be worth speaking to/seeing a Dr if you can work it out, as they may be able to give you some extra support/medication to get you through the weekend. Does your girlfriend know nothing of the trauma?
:hug:
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“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
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08-07-2011, 05:46 PM
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#3
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Blu
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
I am currently:
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thank you. she knows, but doesn't know when it happened. I don't want to talk to her about it tho, you know? 
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Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters
Plumeria Sister
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08-07-2011, 07:33 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cornwall
I am currently:
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I know, I know how hard it is to put that on another person but try thinking of it this way-- you say it will hurt her to know what an awful day for you is coming up BUT it will hurt her a hell of a lot more if you hurt yourself because you couldn't talk to her about it...
Can you at least just tell her you are struggling at the moment, and ask if you can do something nice together over the next few days so that you will have some support/company? Even if it's just watch a funny DVD or go for a coffee?
If there is anything I can ever do to help please don't hesitate to pm me, I'm on here every day (*sad* lol) and I do understand a little of what you are going through.
Take care xx
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“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
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08-07-2011, 08:05 PM
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#5
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Blu
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
I am currently:
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Thank you. I really do appreciate you taking the time to listen & reply. Really does help :) xx
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Previously unicorn-tears
In a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace,
falling into empty space
With no-one there to catch you in their arms
Kahlia1981 & silentgirl are my RYL sisters
Plumeria Sister
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