Worrying about my record and parts of body not feeling real

[insidemyhead]

Like I was in hospital a long tome and I'm so worried about what they thought of me and what's in my notes and general opinion whether they think im a horrible person or a liar and I just have worried about it and over thinker it and it always upsets me. It causes me so much grief. I don't Think my notes were passed to my current team apart from a discharge letter with basics maybe as my new care co is good with me but I think it helps she's an OT I feel very wary of my doctor but that may be that my consultant in hosp gave me major chills and made me very uncomfortable. I'm scared if the negative effect it may have I'm just fed up that six months down the line um still worrying about it does anyone have any advice on how to rid of this? Or whether my notes may have huge impact on peoples treatment of me considering I was very unwell and out of character at times but it isnt who I am I'm just at my limit of worrying about it most days.

Also I hope you don't mind me asking another thing does anyone get that feeling that part of their bodies arent real? I don't have it all the time mainly in the evening and at night when I've been sitting down and I get this weird discomfort in my legs making them feel unreal and not there and I have to put pressure on them move them around alot and massage them to convince myself they're real., it's hard to explain bur it's really bothersome Ove had it quite a while but it's been worse these last months I was just wondering of anyone related or whether this is just physical

Anyway Thanks for reading hope you're all coping enough

[riotgrrrlcori]

I know in the US you have a right to see your file at any time. I don't know what country you're in or the laws there, but it is possible that there might be a way to see your file.

As for having parts of your body not feeling real-- I've had that before. Especially during panic attacks, but I've had it at other points. To my knowledge, it's a psychological phenomenon. The best way I've found to make it go away is just as you said-- touch and feel and make myself feel the reality. The air, the floor, whatever's around me. But if there is any accompanying physical sensation, you might want to mention it to your GP.

[cakey]

If you are in the uk, you have the right to see your notes, but they can sensor anything out that they feel would be detrimental for your mental health for you to see.

[insidemyhead]

This might sound silly but im too scared to read my notes, thinking of all the horrible things that will be in there, i mean they didnt even send me my discharge letter.. who forgets to send the discharge letter to the person its written about. Its surely deliberate! Theres something they dont want me to see and i think its because they thought i made up some crap because i revoked it but its true... im not a liar deliberately... im too scared to approach my gp or be honest with my psych doc because of what that letter contains. It torments me so i dont think theyd let me see it anyway.

As for the leg things ill just keep doing what im doing, it just makes me feel my legs are someone elses