Things people have said re your self harm that have helped you in recovery
I had self harmed quite badly for me, due to a whole pile of stress, and was really down on myself, my therapist said how my child-mind didn't want me to look like I'd been through the wars. I just felt so accepted and not judged. It helped me to have something nurturing to hold onto that wasn't judging me. I still hold that it times of extreme stress, it's like a safe boundary.
I was in hospital and I was trying to hurt myself with what ever I could find. One of the really nice nurses who made me feel safe came over and took hold of my hand and said "you don't need to do that Jodie. You're in pain, and I can hear you."
One of the nurses asked me when I was in hospital a few years ago why I hurt myself but said it in the context of; I've been there and done what you do and you're beautiful and don't need to hurt yourself. She sent me a text actually, I have it saved somewhere... I'll get it now:
"Hi hun, it's L from the hospital. Hope you're feeling okay and all went well when you got home. Remember that you're beautiful and a great person and ignore anyone who says and different."
Then, quite a few people from university, recently.
My taekwondo instructor has helped me loads. I did have texts from her saved on my old phone but unfortunately don't have them anymore.
It's not to do with SH but I've got one from her that says: "Make sure you eat" that I look at when I'm tempted to not eat.
And another (it was long so I've missed out the unimportant bits): "Ur way too hard on yourself babe. We are all different so don't stress if you struggle...everything getting on top of you with you stressing about exams too. Try and relax a little this weekend."
And a text from my boyfriend saying "I know it's hard sweetie but you are doing excellent. Keep trying" that means a lot to me because usually he seems to think it is easy to stop.
I've got lots of other random texts of love and such that are important to me too. Generally just people saying they care about me and that I'm doing well helps a lot.
I showed my counselor my scars and he was quiet, then he asked "Does it [your arm] hurt?" It was just totally unexpected. It just said to me that he cared about me.
Another time, on the phone, he said "Are you safe?" and it just kept running through my mind for days, like some sort of crazy echo. It helped me not cut because he cared enough to worry about me.
Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence
~Scroobius Pip
My ex, who's now one of my good friends told me how he was trying to quit smoking, and he was like, It's hard but I know what you're going through with your addiction [to cutting]. We can both get past this.
Also, whenever I'm wanting to cut and I text him, he always tells me He believes in me. And that I'm a great person and I'm worth more than that.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
When i had to go to A&E for sh i had a nurse who had seen me about 3 times before, when she was patching me up she was asking if i was at college etc. When she let me finally let me go, as she was debating if i was a risk to myself. She put her hand on my shoulder told me ' That i just don't want to see you hurt yourself' Then 'You'll be okay'
I have had a nurse on the ward ask me ' Are you okay lauren? It's just i feel there's something your not telling me, is there anything you want to tell me?' She was really nice.
I can't explain why this helped but it just did.
A nurse said to me, 'Its the people like you that I worry about at night. I wish I could just hold your hand through this.'
A friend of mine once had a really long talk with me, and what really hit me was this sentence which she told me.
"You're not weak. You're stronger than that and you know it."
Keeps me going. :D
"I believe in you."
"You are strong enough to handle this."
"It's okay if this isn't your last slip-up, just make sure you'll get through every single one, and you WILL, and I'll support you."
So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight, but I'm just surviving.
The mirror can lie...doesn't show you what's inside. It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile.
Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk... I'll always listen.
Not directly self harm related, but to the motivations behind it. During one counselling session, we got talking about feeling like a failure when things don't turn out perfect - one of the main reasons for me. And my counsellor went,
"So what makes you so much better than everyone else that you could be perfect at all? People usually aren't."
It doesn't sound very nice, but it's very true. It put things in perspective for me quite a bit.
i was on msn and an old bf of hers popped up i dunno how much its true but it helped he said
you know what your cousin used to cry on me saying she was scared she was going to lose you. That was a big shock for recovery. As i love and listen to my coisin and her hurting just set me up for recovery.
Now-best friend threw that in at the end of a conversation we had about my self-injuring sophomore year. She completely opened up to me about her struggles, I still can't thank her enough.
Someone told me to believe in myself as much as I believe in God. May not mean much to a non-believer but my religion means a great deal to me, so this was really special.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
