It feels like the best part of my life is already over.

[Kimaru]

I feel like my life reached its high point during high school and its all going downhill from there. I at least had friends in high school, now I just go to work and then home. I only see my friends about once every 2 months because I moved to the opposite side of the city. I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings anymore because I know that there isn't anything for me to look forward to. Just working at the check out with a lot of grumpy customers, then going home to my brothers arguing and my mom either asleep or watching movies in her room with her boyfriend. I feel so empty and hopeless all the time and I'm just so tired of it. I know I'm probably just depressed again, but I'm tired of that too, getting so depressed all the time and getting put on meds on and off. I want to run away, get hospitalized, OD...something to change the way things are...

I can feel that I'm getting closer and closer to my breaking point, I don't know what "breaking" will consist of but I know it won't be good. My mom said she'd call my psychiatrist from a few months ago and try to make me another appointment because I have a really hard time talking on phones but she keeps forgetting. I remind her nearly every day but she never gets to it...I don't think she really understands how desperate I'm feeling lately. I'm so stuck...I don't know what to do.

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

It sounds a little like you're quite lonely and feel stuck in a rut. I reckon that if you were to join a club/take lessons in something you enjoy that would help give you something to look forward to and may even help you make some friends in your area.
Could you email/write to your psychiatrist and explain the situation and ask for another appointment (give him/her the dates you are free) so you wouldn't have to speak on the phone? (I hate phone calls too)
Hope this helps a little?
xxx

[whirlpools]

I think the responsibilities of adult life are very hard to undertake, and of course we need something fun in our lives to take the edge of the mundanity. As above, I would suggest joining a club doing something you've always wanted to do might help add a bit of excitement and help you to expand your social circle.
What are your interests? Maybe you could find something that nurtured those? I've always wanted to try African drumming so I'm thinking of seeing if there's any classes in my area. Also, exercise can really help to lift one's mood and give one somewhere to go in the evenings, so maybe join a gym or train for a charity swimming event? It'll give you something to look towards.
Maybe try looking in the library or on the internet in your area for different classes/clubs going on.

[roiben]

On a practical note - you say you do not see your friends as you have moved to the other side of the city; can you not arrange to meet half way. I have done this in the past with people who live a long way away. It can make a big difference to travel to a half way point to meet.

You also have the option of joining a club, or even socialising with people from work.

Roiben x

[Kimaru]

Well, my mom finally remembered to call but she had leave leave a message and wait until monday until she hears back from them. I would join a club or team or something but there isn't anything that I really enjoy doing lately, I used to like really art up until about a year ago but it just makes me depressed and frustrated if I try to draw anything now. I was also trying gardening and I was starting to like it but all my plants died in a storm a few nights ago. I'm already meeting my friends halfway when we meet up but they seem to think of it as a hassle to have to wait on me, its also become really hard to find days when our schedules match up. Well, hopefully going back to my psych will help.

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

I hope you manage to get an appointment fairly soon.
Maybe if you were enjoying gardening you could try and find some sort of gardening society/club; that may help you meet new friends.
It's sad that you've lost your enthusiasm for art but one day it may return - I've found that depression can cause everything you once loved to become meaningless.
xxx