It's a while since I posted on here, but some of you may remember I was taken to A&E for self harming, then the nurse was horrible (accusing me of being drunk) and got me arrested.
Then at the police station I apparently bit a nurse when they were restraining me to remove a nipple bar (which they missed the first time they searched me.)
Anyway, I have been charged with battery on the nurse. She's claiming I puched her several times but there are no marks, and her staement and the health care assistants statement are soooo different.
But with the police one its obvious I did it because there were witness's and blood on her shirt. I didn't know I'd bitten her till they interviewed me, then when it went to court for the first hearing I got told that I actually bit her twice :\
My solicitor said I will probably have to pleade guilty to biting the police officer and that because I cannot remember doing it, it makes it worse because I can't defend myself. I feel like no one at all has taken my mental health problems (and why I act the way I do) into account.
I've been out of bed 3 times in almost 2 weeks, I just can't face life. Everyone is out to get me. My gp came out today but was a waste of time, he just doesnt get it. And how can I explain everyone is out to get me when he is one of the ones?
He's refering me to something called a pathfinder service, but in regards to being scared to leave my room, he said I'll just have to get used to it.
My husband thinks I had a breakdown but the doctor disgareed and said, shes just reacting badly to a situation, something that she does a lot of!
I dont think it would be worth seeing another doctor because I always see this one and dont think any would want to go above what he said as he's one of the senior ones.
I feel like I'm screwed. I could get 6 months in prison. I'm not sleeping well and having really bad nightmares. I have no appetite and jump anything I hear a noise. I'm so scared and panicky about everything. I've been getting bad headaches and have completely lost all my lust and enthusiasm for life.
I'm really not sure how to move forwards from here :(
Have you got anybody to speak for you on your behalf? A CPN, social worker or psychiatrist who's seen you? I'm not sure if it would apply to this particular situation but perhaps you could get in contact with an advocate? Or perhaps an organisation such as MIND might have some suggestions for you? In terms of your GP, you are always entitled to a second opinion and it might be worth doing that.
I'm sorry, I wish I could help more but I'm just throwing some ideas around really. I'm sorry you're struggling such a lot with this. I think anybody would in your situation. Just know that you don't have to struggle alone.
Is your husband able to support you during this time?
Take care.
xx
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
Did they actually test your alcohol levels? It is all well and good to accuse you of being drunk but were you? Even then
My husband thinks I had a breakdown but the doctor disgareed and said, shes just reacting badly to a situation, something that she does a lot of!
That phrase above is very telling. You sound like you need a different lawyer and a different GP. Even if you are given a criminal record you can appeal it. And if you are suffering from mental health issues, that would have to be taken into consideration in terms of what sentence/ punishment you are given.
Unfortunately, with all things in life there are consequences, but a good lawyer should be able to question the irregularities in the report of the first nurse. If you are in the throws of an emotional break it is very scary and I have had friends who have a completely different memory of what is happening to them because of the heightened sensitivity to their surroundings.
GP is not a psychiatrist first of all. And it sounds llike you do need an advocate either a legal or mental health advocate. I do not think that one pleads guilty to anything unless you fully understand the consequences of a criminal record. For example is this to get you a lenient sentence.........
does your husband understand if you cannot right now.
The hardest thing is convincing people to take the time to explain things to lay people when they have already made up their mind. I do not think that people are out to get you. But if you are not convinced of your worth it makes it that much harder to convince others.
If your husband agrees something is off, get a second opinion- legal and medical.
Hugs. And maybe find out about the services of pathfinders.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I feel as though my solicitor cannot be bothered with my case. He specialises in mental health and I feel I dont fit into the catogary because he usually works with people in hospital.
He's gone over ALL the papers with my husband and I and we talked over the discrepencies in the statements. My husbands opinion is that the solicitor is fighting my corner and feels strongly about the case. I guess I cant really disgaree as I'm guessing that I'm not "straight" in everything I'm saying.
My husband said my GP has refered my to pathways as he feels the state I am in is above his head as he is only a gp. But I jut see it as he thinks I'm making it up and not taking it seriously.
Mu husband is the most amazing person alive. I'm having to rely on him to help me make decisions at the moment. Last night we were talking about the situations I am in, and how I would re-act if the tables were turned. This helped somewhat, but was quite frightening really.
I was going to a centre for people with severe mental health for 6 days a week, to groups and to socialise but I've stopped doing this. Apart from Tuesday lunch time as I was running the relaxation group and didnt want to let people down. The staff have told me it is upto me if I feel well enough to do it, but actually its helping because its giving me something to focus on. The group has grown a lot and we now get between 12-16 people, and it makes me feel amazing to know they like what I am doing.
I also have a 2 year old son, and have not done much with him since I took to my bed. I am scared to be alone with incase I had an episode, but social services dont have any concerns.
I wish I could just stop all this, but I dont think I will be able to properly "settle" until the court case is over :(
Wow you sound like you are dealing with alot. But you are going to have to trust your husband- who seems to be calling the shots for you as you are not currently up to it. Is there anyone else to help you with childcare?
Just keep taking it a day at a time. Sometimes, simply bathing and changing clothes, or having a meal outside of the bedroom may be all you can mange. Another time you can be with your son, maybe when his energy levels do not demand too much of you- with someone else there. Just keep letting him know that you love him. And let your husband explain mommy's not feeling too well, but she loves you. So he knows it isn't anything he's done.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
Have you contacted Mind? They have a good legal advice and advocacy service and may well be able to offer some help and clarification for you and your husband.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
