help

theanxiousone · 14-06-2011, 09:48 AM

recently diagnosed with GAD/PTSD. it sucks. i used to be the party type of person having fun with friends then i took it to far one night with a certan substance. woke up in a different city than i went to bed in literally had my "hangover" moment. now anytime i try to be social or put myself out there i struggle with panic attacks. either i cant figure out anything to say because im too busy hating myself, or i literally believe all my friends are talking about me even though they are not and try to support me through my issues.....obviously they have no idea how to truly understand it but i feel like im a burden to everyone around me. i feel like im being babysat as they always look out for me now that they are aware of my issues but that doesnt necessarily help and sometimes all i want is for someone to realize oh **** you havent said anything in awhile you doing alright bro? instead i just feel like they accept the situation and try to avoid eye contact, but to be fair so do i. i feel like a loser and broke down tonight. i wanted to end things because it feels like the way out, i dont feel like what ive been going through will change. fortunately, i found the mixed nuts chatroom and manage to crack a smile talking to people on there. i feel like nobody understands and literally choose to live simply because im scared of what it would do to my mom.......not exactly the greatest motivation to keep going. tonight scared me, ive never been that close before.

Shenanigans · 14-06-2011, 12:57 PM

I'm sorry you're struggling. You say you have been recently diagnosed, are you recieveing any support at all for what's going on and how you're feeling?
x

roiben · 14-06-2011, 01:22 PM

It sounds like your diagnosis is still very new to you, and will also be to your friends. It will take some time to build up your confidence again and I think it may be wise to ask for any therapy that may be available to help you with this.

Can you make plans with your friends that involve you all going out, but not drinking and for a shorter time - so that you can see nothing will happen and that you will be safe? Then extend it to be longer the next time?

Be gentle with yourself, it sounds like you have had a fair knock to your confidence and as with all such things it may take a while to get back, but it is doable.

Roiben x

theanxiousone · 14-06-2011, 01:51 PM

thanks you guys, its nice seeing other people care, i have not received treatment yet. my first appointment with the therapist is in two weeks but i almost lost it tonight as i felt i couldnt wait that long or that i wouldnt be happy.....i think the initial diagnosis might be wrong and it may be something worse which really scares the hell out of me. i know its not psychosis but i have a bipolar uncle

roiben · 14-06-2011, 02:00 PM

Do you think you could contact the cmht and ask if you could speak to someone sooner? Having to wait for appointments can be horrible at times, but there is nothing wrong with asking if you can see the person sooner if you are struggling.

That - or speak to the Duty Psych on that day, who will ensure it is added to your notes for when you see the therapist.

Be gentle with yourself. I know that is hard right now, but things can improve. Having a family member with an mh issue can increase the chances of you having one, but it does not mean you will get that specific issue. The most important thing here is what you are experiencing and ensuring the professionals are aware of that. Including any concerns or fears you may have.

Roiben x