friend doesnt 'get' me

[lonleyangel]

hi,just started this thread to maybes get sum advice/support... i have a friend who knows i have bpd,but is a bit of a know it all,whenevr i try to explain to her how im feeling shr says its all in my head,when i try n explain why i dont like going out anywhere she says im making excuses,and end up having a lecture of how the world doesnt owe me anything and that people dont have to ask me how i am if im feeling down.she says shs is sayin this so as not to validate my bad feelings and just saying it how it is,but these conversations do not make me feel better.aparrently my house is a crap hole, i am not doing enough to get my kids back even tho i have been told i wont get them back till they are 18,they live with my mum.
i dont know what to do about this friendship,i dread seein her and i often ignore her phone calls. anytime i try and explain bpd she jus tells me that shes been depressed and all that,i cant seem to get it into her head that its not depression,its an actual disorder.im so confused,upset and frustrated,my explaining always trns into me listenin to some lecture that makes me feel worse and i dont know what to do

[Sheltie90]

sounds as if you may need to break contact with her for a little while? Maybe give you both some space and see how things work out x x

[lonleyangel]

thanks for your reply,i dont know how to break contact,i have a weekend job with her,i do enjoy her company but when im down i getr told to get over it blah blah blah i feel ike crap right now im so annoyed how she thinks she gets it but she doesnt

[whirlpools]

I'm sorry your friend's being so un-supportive. I imagine she feels like she's trying to help, but I understand that basically telling someone to 'pull themselves together' doesn't help with a mental illness!

Is there any way that, when you spend time with her, you could tell her you'd prefer not to talk about your illness at all? Like, kind of separate it from the time you both spend together at your job - and maybe try and move away from her outside of the time you work together?

[lonleyangel]

she really does feel like shes helping,i tell her all the things i do and i jus get ,'er yes thats normail,stop thinking you r special' when all im trying to do is explain.i was especially offended when she said that my house is dirty,and that i should be cleaning it,and going to classes and gettin out there and doin stuff to get my kids back not sitting on games,oh wow all you do is play games blah blah blah im angry with myself for not being able to explain it properly