Background - I'm on 1mg Lorazepam and 60mg Citalopram a day, don't think I have a drinking problem but when I do drink, I binge. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
So, I was camping at a festival the other weekend and was generally feeling quite stressed, partly because I've just broken up with my boyfriend and I was camping with him (we're still friends but it's a bit complicated/we're not over it). On the last night, I'd taken several sedatives (I'm meant to take one or two a day, but I figured it was a low dosage and that people probably take 7 or 8 without being ill at all) and then went onto drink rum mixed with coke and god knows what else after that. A lot of it I can't remember. I thought it was more dangerous to mix it with Citalopram so didn't really think about the fact that I was mixing alcohol with sedatives. I had a breakdown, self harmed (I had bruises for a couple of days after, don't even remember how I did it), first aid had to come to the tent to calm me down and I got very, very angry with my ex.
I think I'm still coming to terms with such a big breakdown, because the things I did were a bit out of character. I did a similar thing at the festival a couple of days before, except I didn't break down, I just did some sexual stuff with someone and couldn't remember whatosever (which is quite worrying and has never happened before) - same story, I'd had several sedatives with alcohol.
I'm guessing this loss of memory (I can barely remember anything of those two nights) and me being hysterical on the last night was due to mixing alcohol with sedatives. Has anyone done this before? I won't be doing it again, I very much learnt my lesson but I guess I can't get my head round not being able to remember having sex with someone. :s
Hopefully people won't think I'm a bad person, my brain is a bit all over the place at the moment (I've not slept) and I guess I'm a bit scared that I was so out of control. Should I just mark it off as a life lesson, or talk to a doctor about what I did?
Watch the sunrise all alone
Sitting on the tracks
Hear the train come roaring in
Never coming back
Laying quiet in the grass
Everything is still
River stones and broken bones
Scattered on the hill
i know what you mean, i am n a mix of meds and i have bpd too...alcohol and any kind of psychoactive drugs are the worst thing to mix, but alot of people are on meds and alot of people with have a few drinks at festivals, it's the complete norm, it's summer we should be able to relax and enjoy it. i once made the mistake of drinking and mixing my drink too much one night and ended up having to go to hospital the following morning to get 20 stitches all together due to self harm, i only remember patchy bits of the night but i think it made me a little psychotic.
another night i decided to mix alcohol and diazepam...which was a bad idea as it made me throw up alot.
it's probs best not to take anythign sedative untill you know you're definatly done for the night...and when i mean done for the night i mean no more drinkign and you're plannign on going to sleep as sedatives and alcohol will just make you feel horribly drowsy. be cautious with the citalopram and alcohol... my view of alcohol and anti-depressants is that if the leaflet says DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL then i don't... if it says to avoid alcohol, i will have a couple of drinks but really space them out.
obviously if you plan to take illicit drugs maybe just choose either that or alcohol... wouldn't suggest you mix too much as it will probs confuse your heart more than anything, you don't want to take an upper and a sedative and it could make you have a heart attack.
if you feel you need to talk to your doc or who ever about it then do so... but if you know that it wasn't a good idea to mix meds with alcohol and really want to spare yourself the patronising lecture from the doc then yu don't really need to bring it up.
I just want to add that benzodiazepines (such as lorazepam and diazepam) have memory loss as a side-effect, so that might be why you can't remember what happened. Combining them with alcohol enhances their effects.
xx
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I just want to add that benzodiazepines (such as lorazepam and diazepam) have memory loss as a side-effect, so that might be why you can't remember what happened.
Yep, I took 10mg in one day once and my memory lapsed so bad that I couldn't remember that the day I'd forgotten had even happened! Usually when I take such a high dose I'm so heavily stated that I can barely function.
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" - Alice, Alice in Wonderland
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