ive been waiting 9 months for therapy and finally got appointment through for today and its only going to be 20 weeks their website says up to 2 years and i was told id need a constant therapist fir as long as id need took through the **** in my head they said tgatvwas my hope for recovery. and this happens i have really bad communication barriers and trust problems it takes me a while to remotely trust someone
its not deliberate or something i can control its.really bad. these people have messed with me so much after being inpatient for 9 months (December) come home and nothing i was left for two months with nothing then my can decided she didn't want to bother and i only saw her 4 times and 3 phone calls in 5 months yeah i record it she blamed me for not being cooperative which was a lie i tried hard despite her manipulation and refusing to reading my notes also support workers keep changing as im not being give permanent staff despite them being told i can't cope with change or new people well. im now have new care co whose taking history and doing all the things my old one should have done and am meant go be getting a new support worker and i was going to start therapy so things were looking up i was going to be able to get help coping stop going to minor injuries for crap and hiding everything and just having someone to talk to and calm my fears. but just stuff like this happens my therapist used to stand my ground in hosp as i couldn't talk to doctors and before that my t stood up to my mum. i just wanted 1 person to hear me out until im on my own two feet again but that has to be crammed into 20 weeks im managing to pay for a chiropractor once. a week it is very cheap for private as nhs physio hadn't got back after 3 months as my pain is chronic i can wait longer maybe mh services are the same but like my physical pain needing to be sorted as id had enough of not being able to walk or exercise I've had enough of my mh as i can't do sod all without the crippling fear or im too tired from not sleeping sometimes im so scared i can't move for hours or im just hself destructing. im scared im going to do worse soon but none is here to hear me and i really can't afford private as i didn't inherit enough its stretching it with chiropractor.
I've had enough really can't hack this much more id write a complaint about my lack of care after discharge from 24/7 care despite my high risk but it will just make things worse i just wanted to write this cap out im not complaining without me trying to change things i have tried i don't know what else to do im close to packing it all in and leaving it all but itd increase my reason to act on things im not sure where to go from here. i know same people get worse care but im not competing i just want advice on what to do or someone to sympathise really im feeling at an utter dead end with hope i haven't actually felt genuine hopelessness in quite a while.
um yeah sorry for posting again
