I've decided that I want my best friend to know what I do. He's the kind of person who wears his heart on his sleeve and expects everyone else to do the same, and so he gets frustrated with me when he suspects that I've been hiding stuff from him. I don't SH because of some massive trauma in my life or enduring depression, but because for some messed-up reason, it's less terrifying than the thought of calling up someone who cares about me and asking for help when things go wrong. I think I want him to understand exactly what he's asking of me when he tells me I should 'talk to him'.
The problem is that, while I want him to know, I can't imagine actually telling him. It feels like it would just be too hard to say the words, so I thought that I could show him instead. Obviously I'd wait until all my current cuts have healed, and I wouldn't just do it out of the blue, but I just feel like it might be easier to have the conversation if I start it like this. I couldn't chicken out of it then.
On the other hand... he's squeamish. We've talked about SH in relation to other people before and he goes slightly green thinking about the actual act. I don't think my scars are actually that bad, but I don't know whether that's the case or whether my perception of them is just skewed because I've been looking at them every day for the past three years. Also,I know he's going to assume that something terrible has happened to me, rather than that this is just how I cope with stuff, because every other person we've known who cuts has been abused, but I suppose this is a risk whether I show him the scars or not.
I don't want to shock him or guilt-trip him, I just want my best friend to know me better. Am I being a manipulative bitch for wanting to do it this way?
I would definately say you're not being manipulative, or a bitch for wanting to do it in this way...if it's easier for you. But, I would seriously consider how he might take it based on what you say about him being squeamish. I was, a long time ago, thinking of telling my friend this way, and I decided not to, purely because I didn't want to shock him so much. I think you're being really brave telling him, however you decide to do it. Sorry if this didn't make any sense at all but I hope it goes okay.
<3 take care
x K x
First of all, well done for wanting to tell him. Hopefully from him knowing he will understand and be able to help and support you. :)
You are not being manipulative or a bitch for wanting to do this, it's just an easier way for you to talk about it. If you don't want to shock him, do you think maybe you could write to him? Maybe through a letter/e-mail/IM?
Whether you choose to show him, or write to him, it might be best to start by asking him not to over-react, and say that you are not being abused, and nothing terrible has happened, and this is just your way of coping. Obviously if he is your best friend and he cares about you he may still be shocked or worried, but if you explain to him calmly the reasons why you do it, he should be supportive and sympathetic. :)
I can relate strongly to this. Similar thing with me.
Chance is he may have already picked up on something not being quite right, and may just be waiting for you to say something.
With regards to telling him; You could drop hints if you don't feel ready to tell him outright. Luckily, my best friend has brains so picked up pretty quickly :P
You could try to tell him by drawing a picture expressing how you feel, or writing a poem, or sending a song or something?
Letters are also good if you don't feel ready to tell him :)
Hope this helps somehow, message me if I can does anything :)
Dyson.x.
Thanks, guys - this is reassuring. I can't do it for a while as I have too many open wounds right now, but that at least gives me time to prepare.
Has anyone actually had good things come from writing letters about SI? I've toyed with the idea a few times but everything I write just seems so... melodramatic. I've never yet saved a draft, let alone sent it. I can't get past the image of my friend getting all excited because he's got 'proper post' for once, and then finding that it's nothing but the slightly morbid contents of my head...
This is actually how I told my husband. When we were first dating and it became serious, I didn't want him finding out a different way, so I sat down and said, "I need to show you something personal. I don't want you to flip out or think of me any differently, but this is important". I showed him my arm and he immediately kissed it and asked me what happened. And people can surprise you. I was never able to talk about what happened to me before with anyone, but with him it just kinda came out. I ended up telling him my whole story and it has just made us so much stronger (obviously we are married now lol). I know this is a friend and not a boyfriend, but you might just find out just how good of a friend he is after you let him into your life a little more
I can't do it for a while as I have too many open wounds right now, but that at least gives me time to prepare. 
