alone

chrisl · 28-05-2011, 01:40 AM

Crisis team talk rubbish

no they just try to help its just me . Ended up in a/e last night cuts and pills wish i had not gone , i know i have to cut tonight to stop the pain but i wont go to a/e again its not fair on them . Cuts are just getting deeper its the only way to stop the pain in my head . Sorry for the moan but i just cannot talk to the crisis team again just keep going over and over the same things every time we talk. I'm just talking rubbish now .

frenchhorn · 28-05-2011, 01:46 AM

Your not talking rubbish. I can understand being unhappy about the crisis team as I've dealt with them a lot and its mostly been negative.
please make sure you look after your cuts and please seek medical attention if needed.
is there something you can distract yourself with to keep from cutting?

I'm here if you want to talk

chrisl · 28-05-2011, 01:57 AM

Thanks Oliver

Merc · 28-05-2011, 09:28 PM

Just wondering how you are now? I hope you have taken care of your wounds and will seek help if needed for them.
I know it's hard, but for any OD, you really need to go to A&E/ER.
Do you have anyone you speak to, other than the crisis team?
What do you think would help you the most right now?

tifflehan · 28-05-2011, 09:48 PM

I understand how crisis team are rubbish. Not much help to me after my o/d.

chrisl · 29-05-2011, 03:05 AM

HI ROMPERFRY i started counseling last week but she said she was unable to help me and said i needed to see a psychotherapist instead .10 month waiting list so went to the doctors for more meds and he has referred me to see a psychiatrist. I just took the pills to stop the pain in my head but then things got a bit out of control so went to a&e they wanted to keep me in but i said no . At the minute there is nothing that can help me and i dont really have any one to talk to. THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY . HI TIFFANY i know the crisis team try to help but most of the time you see different people and it gets you down when they dont read your notes and you have to go through it all again . Thanks for replying take care .

not_so_insig · 29-05-2011, 10:53 AM

I can understand also how people feel about the crisis team - they are rubbish! In fact I hate them so much it's written in my CPA that I do not want them under any circumstances!!

chrisl · 31-05-2011, 11:36 PM

Sorry for being such a failure but was back in a/e last night had 10 stitches , what a fool, crisis team turned up but different people this time. made me an emergency a point ment to see psychiatrist tomorrow at 2pm . Just had a shower but want to cut more than ever i just dont know whats wrong with me. I cannot explain how bad i want to hurt my self , i just know i will end up in a/e tonight ,the cuts are just getting bigger and deeper i think i have just about had enough of this its just getting addictive . i dont know how to stop my self

chrisl · 01-06-2011, 11:27 AM

I dont mind if nobody has any advice for me because we all have our own problems to deal with. It just makes it easier for me to wright things down so i dont ,i am just talking crap now. Anyway going to see psychiatrist in 3 hours for the first time and just had a phone call from a nurse to make sure i am going. I dont know what i am talking about so will talk later

tifflehan · 01-06-2011, 04:29 PM

Hope its going ok.

chrisl · 03-06-2011, 11:21 AM

Went to psychiatrist wast off time made me feel worse just would not let me say anything . went home cut the hell out of my arm unable to stitch it because of the way i cut it . crisis team turning up in a minute , back to work on Monday dont know where to turn to next , to be honest i dont really give a f--k now sod it.

~Grace~ · 03-06-2011, 11:30 AM

Im sorry the psychiatrist was of no help, or it may have seemed that way. But maybe he has gleened enough from you to help you in someway..
Hope it goes well with the crisis team
Take care xx

chrisl · 03-06-2011, 07:21 PM

Thanxs Graces Crisis team have been very helpful today they spoke to my doctor for me and have arranged some meds for me . they have put me on duloxetine plus staying on diazipam . Dont know anything about duloxetine but will see how it goes have nothing to lose .

Margo · 05-06-2011, 12:17 PM

Phsychs and crisis team people can be dreadful. You have my sympathy. I hope the meds calm you down a little and help. Its a rough and rocky time ahead and you will need all the support you can get.

One ting i will say is try to remember what the crisis team do and hw they operate. They are there simply as a bridge from crisis to the NHS basically. they arent there to become your counsellor or friends or anything. they are temporary and their sole aim is to risk assess you and either send you to the psych or try and ensure some form of safety. The reason you get different people all the time is to stop bonds being made. If you get the same ones you will learn to rely on them and they simply cant do that. As the patient its hard because you want their support. It seems uncaring and harsh but much of the coldness is for a reason. thats not to forgive the down right incompetance of many of them. There are good ones tho!

Most psychs ive met have the bedside manner of a tortoise! Sadly i fear that many of them would be sectioned of tested also. there is good out there too though. Its a lottery who you will get.

Do you have a CPN?

Remember that many of us here have either experienced first hand or are experiencing either the same or something similar to you. you aint alone. Its hard and we know its hard. Its ****ing terrible infact. The point is that you can and WILL get through this with patience and time. Right now is about getting you stable with meds and support. This is the hardest time. I can sense very much you are in the frenzied cutting and harming phase where the addiction to is is overwhelming.

The key is to keep talking and keep distracted. Watch DVds of sometihng funny. talk to people on here. talk to people anywhere! Try and get out and walk or cycle even if its just to the shop. I know its hard if not impossible at times but if you can then do it.

take care and good luck!

Matthew

chrisl · 05-06-2011, 09:17 PM

Thanx matthew , I now realize why the crisis team are like they are ,no i dont have a cpn to be honest i did not even know what one was . Feel so guilty about the cutting as i was in a/e again last night Saturday another 10 stitches 4 times this week. But its so hard to try and stop my self just hope the meds help .Crisis team have said i can see a different psychiatrist if i want just not sure what to do about that. Anyway back at work tomorrow so that might help . take care matthew

lost-in-nowhere · 05-06-2011, 10:02 PM

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time and I hope you can get some decent help. I've not got anything helpful to say, just that I hope you're feeling a bit better tonight.

Take care x

Margo · 06-06-2011, 02:01 PM

Cummunity Phychiatric Nurse. Im not sure how the system works but i had one. they see you and talk and make reports to the psych. They can help facilitate stuff.

chrisl · 06-06-2011, 11:16 PM

Thanks for the replies it helps . take care .

chrisl · 15-06-2011, 09:25 PM

Had very bad and vivid dreams last night it was as if it really happened . In such a terrible state this morning ,phoned crisis team but didn't help calm me down . Just could not stop thinking about it toke meds but still no good ended up in a/e had 18 stitches . Doctor was very nice told me i have to sort these dreams out they seem so real . Dreading going to sleep to night , crisis team are seeing me in the morning also seeing gp .Cannot take much more of this if they dont stop i know where it will end.

dollpart · 24-06-2011, 12:08 AM

how are things now?