talking to therapist

[sillystring]

So I saw my therapist today, and on Monday she wants to talk some more about creating an action plan of steps to take to improve my eating.

The thing is, I'm afraid to talk to her about this more, there's just SO much racing through my mind I don't know where to start. And I'm not sure if I want to improve my eating any more... I mean I do, but at the same time I'm really worried about how much weight it'll cause me to gain.

How do you figure out where to start with telling them stuff? I trust her, she's pretty cool... she even said that after I went away with the military, if I ended up back in this area, even if just for a few weeks at a time, she'd love to see me and she wants me to call her occassionally if I can while I'm away and update her on how stuff is going... which shocked me when she said that, but it was nice at the same time too. No one has ever actually WANTED me around, wanted to work with me, or given a **** about how things were going with me before... and she seems like she REALLY understands most things I tell her... the problem is I just don't know how to tell her everything, what to start with... it's just really overwhelming. And even though she's promised that she won't hospitalize me as long as I continue to work with her and be open with her, that's still a big fear of mine, I'm afraid if I do tell her EVERYTHING, she'll force me into the hospital anyway, despite what she promised today.

[surprising mystery]

Heya, it sounds like she is very willing to work with you through problems, and if you do tell her the truth, which I think you should and need to for this to be beneficial, I believe she will try to help you. There is no reason to believe that she would have you sectioned unless you were directly not co-operating with her and were very ill. I hope you manage to tell her the truth, I know its hard, but telling someone is the right thing to do. Take care xxxx

[InsufficientFunds]

First thing good job on going to your therapist. And getting your eating on track is a very amazing thing. *huge hugs and proudness*

To get better you kind of have to take the good with the 'bad', yes you will gain a little weight, but in no way are you going to get 'fat' because they will teach you how to eat properly and maintain and healthy weight. And about all the thoughts, it may help if you right them down and organize your head in a way. Talking to them about it can only help, they wont think any worse of you, they will be proud that you talked to them about it.

She obviously cares about how your doing, and I think that is great, because now you know you'll always a have a support system. She sounds amazing sweetheart and you should take full advantage of the help she is trying to give you. She isn't going to force you into hospital unless you get worse, if you are so against going into hospital you can use that as a tool to motivate you to get better. You have to tell her everything or else she isn't going to be able to help you as much as she could, and again if your not getting worse and making progress there would be no reason to put you in hospital.

I'm here if you need anything, good luck xx
Paige <33

[.ghost.]

If she says that she won't hospitalise ou while you continue to work with her, even if you tell her everything, as long as you carry on worknig with her and she can see that you want to improve your eating she won't hospitalise you.

Like Paige said, you may gain a little weight, but you won't gain too much because they wouldn't want you to get fat as this would probably make your ED worse in the future, if you gain you will be a healthy weight, not overweight.

I had to write down about my ED to tell my psych, I just couldn't get the words out. She asked whether there was something I wanted to tell her (I'd been silent for about 10 minutes figuring out what to say) and then she asked if it would be easier to write down so I nodded and she gave me some paper and a pen. I wrote that I was bulimic and then wrote down all my fears to do with eating and weight and stuff. It was a lot easier than telling her face to face. I did mine in the session but you could always do it beforehand then give it to her to read and discuss it in your session.

Taek care
xx

[If_Only]

Gah, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to recover but not wanting to because of 'getting fat'. Your therapist sounds really nice and supportive though. And it doesn't sound to me like she has any intention of putting you in a hospital if you work with her.
I'm sure they will only ask you to gain what you need to in order to be healthy (Despite what your ED wants you to think, people like this are NOT part of some huge conspiracy to make you 'fat'). Yes, it will be daunting at first, and strange too, but then, one day you will wake up and not have to worry about weighing yourself, or how much cals/fat are in this one tiny yogurt; and it will all be worth it.
Also I think writing it down is a great idea ^^, i always find it much easy than speaking too.

Stick at it. Take care.
Katie xx

[Popple]

*huggles*
Well pretty much everything has been said already anyways but I wanted to say I know how you feel. Its like theres war going on in your head

but if you make the right choice and try work through it slowly to improve your eating it will become easier.

you are lucky she sounds really nice so maybe if you told her what you are worried about and like whats already been said maybe write her a letter because that way you can change it as many times as you like till your happy with it and its sometimes alot easier than saying it.

nobody is trying to make you 'fat' they want to work with you to make you healthy and they would never let you put on more weight than is healthy even if it doesn't seem like it.

congrats on even considering changing things thats a big thing you should be really proud.

good luck keep us updated and if you need anything feel free to pm me =]

take care sweetie
katy
xx

[sillystring]

Thanks for all the replies and support. I'm going to try to write out a letter to her today and see how that goes... it's just so hard.... I couldn't even go a full 3 days without weighing myself, and when I DID finally weigh myself yesterday I had gained 6 pounds. I knew I would have gained some, I just didn't expect it to be THAT much. And now I've been freaked out, checking my weight even more often, pushing myself to run and work out even more.... and I know that's not gonna be healthy in the end, but it just seemed like SO much in such a short amount of time. I would have ended up hurting myself pretty badly over it last night, had my kitten not been so demanding of cuddling and being given attention. It just really scares me how upset I got, how strong the urge to hurt myself was just because of that... I just didn't expect the scale to say that high of a number, I mean I knew I would have gained some most likely, but my clothes aren't fitting any tighter or anything, so I didn't think there'd be more than a few pounds difference. :(

[plastic rose]

Contrary to what therapists and doctors often like to make us believe, you can't just admit somebody to a psych hospital against their will. They have to section you under the mental health act, and to do that they have to prove/have good reason to believe you are not capable of thinking straight, and that you're at considerable risk if they don't admit you. Normally you're talking about a BMI of 14 or less to be sectioned, although it depends on how well you are physically.

My point is, she can't MAKE you go to hospital unless you are sectionable. So try to tell her as much as you can.

*hugs* take care honey. x