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alcohol problem?
i am writing this because i am in need of some advice,
let me begin by saying i do not need alcohol, i am not dependant on it and it has no hold over me therefore i do not conform to your typical alcohol abuser.
i dont go out every nite not even every weekend but when i do i binge drink to a rather high level and when i do this, not always but more often then not, it leaves me in an unrational, aggressive state of mind.
i become very intolerable to many things that on a day to day basis would only bother me for a fleeting moment and then pass without friction, a prime example being the way i am around my partner katie, i love this person with all my heart and have always been aware of her aggressive nature, her inability to except my opinions when they dont match hers and the fact that she says things when angry that she doesnt mean, nasty, vile insults that hurt me deeply emotionally and she does this with that exact result in mind, now as i have made clear on a day to day basis i have the ability to deal with this rationally and it is often over before any damage is done.
when im in this unrational, aggressive state brought on by the binge drinking i am unable to deal with the situation in my normal manner.
whilst in this state if i feel confronted or challenged in any way, even remotely, i lose control completely, i enter what can only be described as a blind rage, i refuse to take responsibility for my behavior, i refuse to except im acting out due to being drunk even though this is clearly the case .
there have even been occasions when ive resorted to violence, now this usually entails inanimate objects being the targets of my frustration venting, however every once and i while i take my inexcusable behavior to an even further level and this sometimes ends with me in a fight with a complete stranger or worse, katie will be the target, now understand that this doesnt mean i beat her up or slap her around but i have however, pulled, pushed and grabbed, all of which i know is utterly unacceptable.
so heres where i need the advice, see i realise my problem is the binge drinking, ive accepted it and ive sworn to stop, not only binge but all drinking, i am completely confident in my ability to do so as i dont and have not ever 'needed' a drink , katie however, feels that there is more to it and that i do infact have an alcohol problem, she has told me on countless occasions that when sober im a fantastic person but when i drink im a monster, ive accepted this hence the vow not to drink anymore, which i am currantly doing with absolute ease but she will not accept this and untill she has heard the opinion of a specialist is insistent on theropy, by what youve read do you think i have an underlining alcohol problem which needs treating with counciling such as AA meetings, or am i right in thinking that some people just react badly to the consumption of alcohol and if they can stay away from it on there own there is infact no serious problem?
please answer this the best way you can, i eagerly await your responce, thank you.
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