Lost

[miamyamush]

I've been depressed for so long now I can't take it any more. I have things I should be happy about but I can't force myself there. I can't even pretend anymore. I'm working really hard to explain this to my husband but I feel like he doesn't understand. He thinks something must happen to make me sad. I'm getting frustrated explaining it to him. Has anyone had to explain their illness to someone? What do I say to make it stick that I'm sad? Dangerously sad. I've missed alot of work this year (depression and I kept getting physically ill) and he blams me telling me I'll loose my job. I feel like if he understood he'd know better what to say. They may give me ECT and then I'd have to take off work for two weeks. No one at work knows I have depression (though I'm sure some suspect) so how do I take off two weeks with out anyone knowing? Do I have to tell my boss what's really going on? What will they think of me for getting ECT?

[Jessy]

My boss was surprisingly supportive. I had to have 4 months off work (i was in hospital) and they were SO supportive, offering a phased return, reduced hours, hours to suit me etc. It may be a nerve wrecking thing telling them, but honestly it's not as bad as you think once you've done it.

As for telling a loved one, it is hard to make them understand if they've never experienced it themselves. Just keep trying to tell him, maybe show him some websites such as this one, or others which have articles/info on depression. Try and explain that something doesn't have to have happened to trigger it. It's just like sometimes.. when you wake up in a pee'd off mood. No idea why, you just do. But as the day goes on, you cheer up, distract yourself. With depression.. it's much harder/near on impossible to shift it. It's not something you can help, or avoid.. ah I don't know, it is hard to explain isn't it?

Just keep trying hun, I really hope it sinks in for him sometime soon. <3 x