asking for something from people in authority?

[Sunshine]

Today i had a session with my DBT psychologist and she asked me to do a role play with her, with me asking "my boss" to change a shift at work because i had a prior appointment! i just couldnt do it i started crying saying "why do i have to do this, i dont ask for anything of anyone in authority so why should i change now"

she went on about how you cant really live a full life if you never ask anyone for anything and i just got so upset and angry that she was asking me to change something that is so inherant in me and i find so difficult! i just couldnt do it and i left the session feeling angry and hurt!

does anyone else do this? (avoid asking anything of anyone slightly in authority) and if so how have you overcome it? because i would like to overcome it but doing embarrassing role plays just makes me even more self consious about it! it was an awful session and i feel angry at her for spending the whole session trying to force me to do it!

but anyway any advice would be nice
Thanks
x

[Stellata]

I overcame it because I HAD to. And also because of trusting those in authority, well, immediate authority. Even so, a younger, untrusting part of me makes her presence felt sometimes.

[sherlock holmes]

Obviously if you dont want to change this aspect then she cant force you. But she's right to a certain extent, if you don't learn to speak up for yourself then you might have a really miserable time of it if people start walking all over you.

Role plays are safe ways of working through things like this. Why don't you give it a go?

[Geranium]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

she went on about how you cant really live a full life if you never ask anyone for anything

She's got a good point.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

because i would like to overcome it but doing embarrassing role plays just makes me even more self consious about it! x

The fact that you would like to change is important. It sounds like she's pushing you too hard though. Maybe you need to say this to her and see if the two of you can come up with some gentler techniques?

[PinQ]

I have the same problem, when I wasn't being paid for my job it took me a month to speak to anyone at work about it. I used a way round it by talking to my room manager who went to the head manager and it was sorted out. I think it is really difficult and hope that you are able to overcome this.

[durham-red]

Im quite reasonable so people mistake that for being a pushover, but I would prefere(in a working environment) things to go fluidly but when Im pushed too far then I explode(not positive...) and it comes to a shock to my boss. but then..he will take the mic again and again.

roleplay is not for everyone, I hate roleplay at work..its so fake and feels silly so doesnt work for me. the best way to do it.....just do it. if they say no, they say no, you can then do something with that and move forward. if you dont say something...you just pause really and nothing improves.