I'll admit i'm losing it a little lately, i've come to realise that no matter how much I try NOT to eat I just can't get over the cravings for food and end up eating way too much. The last two nights running i've gone to the bathroom and stuck my fingers to the back of my throat trying to make myself sick. I gave up after a two failed attempts of just retching. I've never ever done anything like this before.
But tonight I just couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I kept doing it and doing it since nobody's in and after about 5 or 6 tries I could finally feel the food at the bottom of my throat, and my hand was practically dripping saliva.. eugh. Im disgusted, but then i've gone and quit again before managing to be sick. I'm useless honestly, I can't stop eating and I can't throw it back up when I've eaten it.
My hands are shaking like crazy and I have a headache. I feel like I almost pulled a muscle. But you know the worst part of it?
I almost did it, and i'm fighting very hard not to go back in there and follow it through fully.
Hun, its actually a good thing you cant purge properly. It becomes a habit that controls your life. Everything suddenly starts revolving aroung eating food, getting rid off food, hating yourself, eating food, getting rid off food.. etc. you get the pcture. Also, you've experienced the effects already.. headaches etc. Its really nto worth it.
You might be eating more, vbecause you're starving your body of food, hence the cravings. I know its a cliche but eating healthy.. and little and often is so much better.
Take care hun x
binging and purging is a bad game to get into ive been there, and it gets bad, you dont think about eating its just, how am i going to get rid of it, when where etc. its a long downward fall into it, i reasure you its not worth it.
heres a few ideas that might help?
maybe instead of starving yourself and knowing your going to binge, try to just eat small amounts of healthy stuff throughout the day such as a peice of fruit or some cereal because then your bodys registering food and wont make you crave so much.
Aswell drink lots of water, because half the time you think your hungry your actually thirsty, it also keeps your body hydrated which is really good. especially because being sick dehydrates you.
the effects of purging arnt worth it there really not, your teeth will start to rot from acid errosion, you can get stomach ulcers, heart problems because your always putting strain on it lots of things just all im trying to say i suppose is to have a think about what you want and whether the long term effects are worth it.
if you need to talk pm me, ive been there before i know how it works and how it hurts.
Chris sweetheart <33 *huge hugs*
as mentioned above its a very good thing you couldn't purge, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. But n the long run purging is addictive and very dangerous.
restricting/starving is a very scary situation, as I'm sure you know. And I don't quite know what to add to everyone else who posted except take care of yourself, you are worth so much more than this.
Be careful xx
Paige <33
i have been in EXACTLY the same situation... sriously.. like exactly!!
i cant purge properly either... and it feels so frustrating... but i think ive realised that because i know how addicted i have become to restricting and SIing... maybe its a good thing...
its soooo dangerous to purge and you really arent fat, hun.
i cant really give better advise than the beautiful people who already have, but please PM me anytime, okay
*cuddles*
It's such a good thing you couldn't purge. It doesn't feel like it but it honestly is. You can do so so much damage to your insides purging.
The best way to beat binges is to make sure you're eating enough in the first place and then structure your meals. For example try eating six to eight small healthy meals throughout the day instead of three big ones. Also drink plenty of water and if you feel like you're about to binge try chewing some sugarfree gum. I find that helps to stop me binging a lot of the time.
Purging is not something you want to get into, no matter how awful you feel about the food. It won't help you at all. It really won't make a difference once you've eaten. Try more positive and effect things like excersing [sensibly] or something?
Wish I could be more help but I'm stuck in a similar situation myself.
Always around for a chat though.
Please take care.
Zed x
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
