I feel so alone

[findingnormal]

Long story short:
Been depressed for a year, got help 5 months ago.
Been to the pysch ward once.
Curently on 150 mg of Effexor.
My depression isn't as bad as it used to be but now I feel numb and everything is sort of a shade of "grey" for me
I am in the process of finding a new psychiatrist.

Today I had quite a talk with my mom, when she says things like how her childhood was much worse, all people go through bad times but they stay strong, she was depressed too but she never had to take medication. I feel like she is making it seem like its my fault, she says I blame everyone else. Its not so much I blame other people its that I constantly feel bad and what people say tends to make me feel worse and i blame them.

She says I take everything the wrong way like what the psychiatrist said and when we talk I take what she says the wrong way.

I really feel crazy because its all in my head. My brain is going against me and I dont have no reason for it. I feel like my mom doesnt really understands how it feels. Sorry for venting I just dont know what to do

[88shelz]

i have heard all this from my dad. he doesnt believe depression is an illness though and thinks that everyone should just get on with things and stop complaining and they would be fine...unfortunatly depression effects people in different way and medication and therapy is needed at times. like any illness there are different severities. depression can still be a taboo subject also and parents can feel like they have let their children down when they are depressed.you need to find a way to communicate with your mum that helps her understand. perhaps leaving out medical names and just explaining symptoms to avoid the taboo or stigma. x

[findingnormal]

That is exactly how she seems to take it, im this way because i keep thinking negatively and if i just think positively it will all go away. I have tried to make her understand but it never seems to work. I explain how I interpret what she is says and she just says thats not what she meant. She in turn gives up because she thinks she makes things worse. I just dont know how to deal with her.