It's going to end badly. Something really bad is going to happen. It's my fault. It's here, it wont leave me alone. I want my mum. I went to see her and it didn't follow but I had to come back and it's here watching me. I don't know what to do. Sulley won't answer and I need him. I need his help to kill it. I want it gone. It's not liking me writing this but so long as I don't look at it it will let me.
Just had a phone call with her. She won't talk about whatever is watching her, but says she had a misunderstanding with her boyfriend earlier (Sulley) and I think it's pushed her back a bit (to where to was before xmas). She's been to see her mum at the hospital (she's a nurse on night shift) and had hot chocolate, and is home now. I think she is safe tonight, and is very very sleepy, so I am going to check again in the morning.
I can't get much out about 'it' because she says that talking about it makes it angry, and something bad will happen, and it's watching her. Hopefully be able to talk more in the morning.
Talai. (and extra-special-safe-ninja-huggles for GammaZebra)
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
It got angry. I shouldn't have said anything. Its really angry. It won't let me take my meds. It says it will come to London with me. I don't want it too. Im hiding with my mum ATM so it can't get to me. I want it to go.
Im in london now. Im with sulley. He's keeping me safe. It seems to have gone back to its hole for know, it doesn't like people or the light. maybe i could sleep with the light on :/ I want it to go but it's always been there ever since i can remember. Ive drawn it over and over again. A faceless thing thats always with me. I don't know.
*huggsss*
You say it's always been there? Has it suddenly become more prominent recently?
And, umm, not what you will want to hear, but can you consider the possibility that this thing more of an extension of your thoughts as opposed to a physical being made up of matter and other physicsy stuff? Like, if you threw a pencil at it, would the pencil bounce off it?
I tried talking to her about it last night but she didn't want to. Her and Sulley have fixed everything though, and were fine last night.
I'm not sure what's happening with the thing, but it doesn't seem to be harmfull at least, even if it frightens her sometimes. But I can't really tell unless she talks about it (and she says she's not allowed).
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Too scared to sleep. It's outside. Tried watching comedy. Kinda worked but I can't do that all night. I can't concentrate on my revision. Im scared. I'm anxious. I want to go to sulley, he keeps me safe. He protects me and gives me cuddles.
Sulley is aware of something that I am not aware of, but she doesn't want to discuss (which is a little unusual because we usually share almost everything). As far as I know 'it' isn't dangerous though, or at least, I don't think it's tried to hurt her.
I do not think she has discussed it with Sulley, because it won't let her. I think the thing he knows about is something else.
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I took my meds. My mum found out that i hadn't taken them and she got a little annoyed and made me take them. Sulley was asleep. I text him. HE didn't reply. I ended up trying to sleep with the light on and reading.
I gotta meet my dad today for lunch with on of his work friends. I don't want to but i have to.
Thats good that you took your meds. Glad your mom is there though. Its okay if Sulley didnt reply. Maybe he was sleeping or was busy. He will get back to you. Did sleeping with the light on help? Why do you have to go to lunch with your dad? How are you feeling otherwise? Hopefully ok or better.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. It sounds like it is very frightening for you right now. Do try to remind yourself that It can not harm you, it may get angry or frustrated with you, but you are the one in controll.
I wish I had better words right now, but am reading, and do care. Keep talking to us here.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
