I'm thinking about this very seriously...

Cari · 03-05-2011, 04:33 AM

I don't know if I want to keep going. All I can say is I messed up my life pretty bad. I have lost hope in myself, and humanity. I'm not going to lie, I am nothing. Nothing at all. People can also be so horrid to me. Horrid. I can't Stop thinking about killing myself. I am getting very serious about it... Just waiting for the strength to do it. I have no one to blame but myself. Though most people in my world ATM, especially my family don't help. My extended family is evil. God... I messed it all up! Everyone else is thin and super smart and whatever! God, it gets so much worse... It takes over my thoughts, my life... I never have any peace from it! My vice has destroyed me, and I am paying the price. But I can't take the pain anymore! I can't! Too much!

Pi.R^2 · 03-05-2011, 09:50 AM

*hugs*
What has triggered this? Do you have any professional support for this?

And suicide is never the answer. Please try to be gentle on yourself, and focus on the things that you like about yourself, and the things that you are good at.

NeverBetter · 03-05-2011, 10:24 AM

massive *hugs* im not sure what to say just what has been said above
what has triggered you ?

Cari · 04-05-2011, 07:20 AM

Thanks for your support! I am Not feeling perfect but I am not feeling terrible, either. I am feeling much better! I decided not to let those closed minded idiots (this was the trigger you asked about) ruin my dreams and self esteem! I can do anything! We are all capable of so much more than we know... Those people are jealous! I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself and do what I was born to do!! We can set our worlds on fire if we are strong enough to leave our doubts. The only one standing in my way is me...

Pi.R^2 · 04-05-2011, 10:18 AM

Sounds very positive! You're right, people who make you feel bad about yourself aren't worth your time.

Glad you're feeling better :)

Cari · 04-05-2011, 06:24 PM

Thanks so much for the support <3

Argonite · 04-05-2011, 08:09 PM

You are not nothing, you're a lovely person who deserves a lot better than to feel like this. I'm glad that you feel better, and a lot of what you said in your last post is right- you can do great things with your life and you deserve to be happy! But if and when you feel suicidal or like there's no point anymore please talk to somebod because these things can happen again, and we don't want you to hurt yourself of put yourself in danger xx

Cari · 05-05-2011, 04:30 AM

Thanks so much Rose! I have a problem where I am very sad and lonely (suicidal) for an hour to a few days and then I'm happy for a while. This is a bad cycle... Some are worse than others and they can last from anything to a minute, hour, a day... Like a few hours after I posted my last msg I felt so down and started thinking about it again... I don't know, I may need help... My mom is trying her best to help me but it's really all up to me in the end...

talaiporia · 06-05-2011, 05:27 PM

How are you doing today?
I'm glad your mum is trying to help.