My flatmate's been to a workshop all weekend to do with her career. She was talking about it this evening. They were not allowed to take notes.
This made me somewhat angry - what about people with disabilities who need notes or lose track of things? i.e. me.
In many things I have a memory like an elephant, but as to short term memory, it's not great. At work I 'have to' write things down, or put them as a task in Outlook. I make notes after each therapy session, or I 'lose' trace of important things she said.
I never used to be like this. I'd sort of resigned myself to it though - this is the way things are with current circumstances strongly stirring childhood trauma stuff. This is the way it is with depression, on meds, processing abuse and trauma. This is how it is as you get older. This is how it is when you're stressed and anxious.
But it'd not fully dawned on me until the conversation with my flatmate earlier, how limiting this is. Damn, it's yet another thing that could limit my future career.
I mean, I know the dissociative flashbacks limit me job wise, hell that's why I have to 'choose' redundancy. But the memory thing, that too. It makes me feel kind of crap. I mean, I know I'm trying to move away from calling myself 'disabled', but I damn well am. Not only does my mind involuntarily slip off to distant layers of pain and feel them now, it also loses things, present memories, which I need to function.
It's pretty ****, really. Pardon my French.
Can anyone relate?
Any tips?
Will my short term memory possibly improve again?
Any jobs I won't be barred from?
Hey, I know how you feel. My memory had always been kinda bad but it was something that I didn't notice and it didn't really bother me.... about 3 weeks ago the night before my school hosted a singing thing with other schools, I was at practice and couldn't form words or think and felt weird. Since then my memory is terrible. It scares me. I can't remember what or if I'd eaten the day before. I can't remember things from class if it's not written down, I don't remember to put my name on tests because I thought I had and I'm forgetting what I'm doing more often. It scares me cuz i want to be a therapist and how will I remember what people say during the session without writing it down. Anyway.... I just wanted to set you know that you are not alone. I'd suggest to keep writing things down. I remember reading somewhere that doing puzzles like crosswords and stuff like that helps the memory.....maybe try doing some of those?
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I can sympathise with needing to write stuff down. I remember almost crying in a demo class during training where we weren't allowed to make notes. There is some kind of rationale behind it (when teaching) but I forget what it is now (it's late and my brain is all twisted.)
So yeah, I also need to write everything down. I never really associated it totally with memory. Some people are just visual - they need to see stuff for it to make an impression, and then they can remember it. Other people can see something written down but it won't mean anything to them unless someone verbally tells them about it, and then they can remember it.
So I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. I guess it's true that depression/meds could exacerbate it, but it could just be how your brain works. I know there are butt-loads of 'brain-training games' out there that claim to improve your memory. I don't know how effective they are, but that could be worth a try (I just find them a good distraction from other stuff.) And if depression is a factor then getting more and more over that, as the stress of processing the abuse and trauma you mentioned gets less, I'm sure your memory will get better.
That may have been royally unhelpful.
Hope you feel better soon.
xx
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I do do lots of word puzzles. Not sure if they help any.
I can remember quotes I learned for English A Level, but not recent stuff. I can remember what I wore for my first day of primary school. I can remember things my Dad threatened, what the girls who bullied me called me. But I have to write down procedures for processing stuff at work now.
My memory is terrible. I have lists about lists!! :)
I had to text my hubby the other day cos I couldnt remember which toothbrush was mine. xx
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I do do lots of word puzzles. Not sure if they help any.
I can remember quotes I learned for English A Level, but not recent stuff. I can remember what I wore for my first day of primary school. I can remember things my Dad threatened, what the girls who bullied me called me. But I have to write down procedures for processing stuff at work now.
I do word puzzles too... But I'm good with words, so it doesn't help much. My girlfriend always tells me to pay more attention but the truth is, no matter how hard I try i literally can't get my head round some things: I never remember what shifts she is working, find it hard to remember what day it is, or focus on exactly what people are talking about.
Lists do help (as long as you remmeber them. That's not a joke- I don't always).
Mine has been getting worse as I try and sort my head out in therapy. Is this anything similar to you?
x
Mine has been getting worse as I try and sort my head out in therapy. Is this anything similar to you?
Like you're remembering so much from so far back more recent memory just doesn't pick up and register properly?
Sorry I have no useful advice... *hugs Katie and everyone*
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Like you're remembering so much from so far back more recent memory just doesn't pick up and register properly?
Sorry I have no useful advice... *hugs Katie and everyone*
I think so, yeah. Also partly not wanting to remember/ go through old stuff, so my mind starts ****ing with present stuff too. Sorry, not delicately put but feels about right...
.gif "rose")
