I'm living around a marital separation right now. I should have some thoughts. Um, but I've never been married, because I struggle with close relationships and am afraid of intimacy. Or at least part of me is, and I'm letting her have her sway. This same part objects to the idea of being 'owned', as my father owned my mother, as I experienced it as a child, when Dad was most unstable.
Am married ...i have been for 4 years now ... it means a lot to me that i have married the person i love and we will be together forever.
i love my partner as much as i did the day i got married and i will always love them.
I may get married one day but it won't be for a long time yet if I do; probably 10-15 years down the line. At the moment I really don't relish the idea of sharing my life with somebody.
Marriage should be for life I think. I can't help but think that some people rush into it a bit too quickly and take it a bit too lightly.
I was engaged once but it didn't work out.
I'd still really like to get married one day but after a knock like that, I'd have to be sooooo sure - it would take a long time to get to that stage.
Also my current lifestyle really doesn't lend itself to long-term relationships.
Каждому, каждому в лучшее верится,
Катится, катится голубой вагон!
Since I set the question I guess I should give my opinion!
My parents split up, and I've seen a lot of other marriages breakdown. Which has always made me wary. I'm not religious but I do strongly believe that marriage should be for life. I've just got no idea how you know that you will love somebody forever.
I never thought I'd ever have a serious relationship, (because I'm unlovable blah blah *negative self worth stuff*) and so I never contemplated getting married either. My intinctive reaction was always to say I would never get married because everyone always splits up anyway.
But now I'm not so sure. My romantic side quite likes the idea of being with someone forever. But it is a huge commitment.
It's something that I would love more than anything and one of my biggest fears/upsetting beliefs is that it won't happen for me.
I guess I'm quite old fashioned with my beliefs around family etc but I like the traditional set up of married parents and kids. I'm also influenced by my religion which makes me believe that marriage is a fantastic celebration of committing to something in a way that is quite unique. I do believe that unhappy marriages can't always be made to work and it's sad but sometimes necessary to end them.
Yeah, I don't know if that was at all interesting to anyone.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
I don't think that you can have an idea or ever know that you will love somebody forever but then, if it is true love or real love then surely you will love your partner, whatever the consequences.
I want to get married (even though 19 is too young, but in the future) but marriage does hold a lot of fear. I mean, you obviously have to work on it continually as you can't just accept you'll get on with someone forever. You have to keep trying and compromising and it is hard work, I think, even if it is worth it.
Due to personal experiences, I would be scared of getting into a marriage with someone I thought I loved and finding out that he could be abusive and being too fearful of leaving and so becoming trapped...
But marriage is a commitment for life and it annoys me so many people treat it like a past time and get divorced so often. I mean, obviously some people have their differences and it won't succeed every time but I don't think marriage should be so spontaneous or lightly entered into because that causes heartache further down the line.
I've been married for nearly two years. I never really had strong views on marriage or whether or not I would get married, it just sort of happened.
It was the right thing for me, because Dave is the most important and best thing in my life, and being his wife feels like a more accurate description of that, compared to being his "girlfriend", or "partner" or whatever.
I did used to wonder how can someone know that you're going to love that one person forever? but for me, it just doesn't even matter, because I feel so certain that I will never stop loving Dave. I also feel that, even if somehow one day I don't love him as much, or I love someone else, it won't even matter because he would still be the person I want to spend my life with.
The thought that I'm his woman makes me feel safe and secure. I feel very lucky because he's a wonderful guy.
I don't think our relationship changed at all after getting married, it just feels more relaxed and reassured. It's an arrogant thing to think, but I do feel that our relationship is pretty amazing. It couldn't be improved.
For years and years i swore i would never marry. Now im old and fat its pretty much all i want. (as well as a speedboat, a rocket car, my own kebab thingy, to become supreme overlord of the universe and to cover myself in custard and let nakey ladies clean me with their boobs!)
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
Since I set the question I guess I should give my opinion!
My parents split up, and I've seen a lot of other marriages breakdown. Which has always made me wary. I'm not religious but I do strongly believe that marriage should be for life. I've just got no idea how you know that you will love somebody forever.
I never thought I'd ever have a serious relationship, (because I'm unlovable blah blah *negative self worth stuff*) and so I never contemplated getting married either. My intinctive reaction was always to say I would never get married because everyone always splits up anyway.
But now I'm not so sure. My romantic side quite likes the idea of being with someone forever. But it is a huge commitment.
I do think people get engaged at stupidly quick times these days. I'm only 19 but people being engaged after only a couple of weeks/months? How do you know you really know that person only after a few weeks/months?
Those who have been proposed after a short time and still together good for you. But many people i've seen have split up after being proposed to after a short time together.
Marrige- hmm my opinion is that it should only be done if you think you could last your life with your partner.
I've been married for over 2 1/2 years now. I definitely don't think that it is a small decision, and many people overlook the commitment and end up forgetting about it. My wife is very supportive and has helped me stay (mostly) SI free for over 3 years. I couldn't have done it without her.
I don't think that there is just one person in the whole universe that can only work with you. Both people have to make compromises and adjust their wants to help each other. I heard a good quote recently "Choose your love, love your choice"
-brian
'in the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see'
I've been married for about a year and a half now. For me, it means ultimate commitment to loving and caring for that one person you are married to. Sticking by them no matter what. At first after getting married it didn't feel any different than before, but after about a year and buying our own place and really working towards things together it began to feel different and I feel a much closer bond with my husband than I ever did before. I'm sure a lot of that has to do with going through so much together in the past year but yeah.
[quote=Downside;2789509]It's something that I would love more than anything and one of my biggest fears/upsetting beliefs is that it won't happen for me.
QUOTE]
This.
My parents went through a very messy separation and divorce and I'd never want to inflict that on my children (if I ever had them; I'd love to, though). So for me it would mean a massive commitment. If I found the right person I would love to make that commitment. I'm not religious but I do believe that marriage should be for life.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
'in the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see'
