When one things goes wrong after another, when there are so many stressful things happening that are what they are and there is nothing you can really do about it, how are you supposed to cope?
I know that depression feeds off misfortune but even in the healthiest of mind sets, when so many things go wrong at the same time, I don't know how anyone is meant to not feel hard done by. I want to be positive and remain full of gratitude for everything that I do have but I'm finding it ****ing hard to rationalise the 'bad luck' that I seem to have/be having.
i think that part of the solution is the way you look at it..... rather than seeing misfortunes, bad luck, and insurmountable problems, see challenges and chances to grow and make things better.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Bad and good things happen to everyone. I think a lot of how to cope with it is down to perspective. Instead of thinking about things as bad luck, maybe be proud that you have got through them and out the other side? Look at what you have learned from your experiences and how they have helped make you the person you now are.
Also, allow yourself some slack. Even the happiest of people have sad moments. It is about finding a comfortable balance, that is not overwhelmed by one, or the other.
Roiben x
Last edited by roiben : 29-04-2011 at 08:11 PM.
Reason: Added a bit.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Then simply acknowledge that they are tough times. That it may knock you for a bit, but that you can get through it.
There is nothing wrong with things not being perfect - Frankly, I do not believe they ever are, for anyone. Dont focus too much on being happy and sunshine and roses all the time - allow yourself those rough moments, but know that there is an other side to them, and that things will pick up.
Life is a constant flux, and just as things are not always happy, so they also are not always sad, or frustrating.
Be gentle with yourself.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I completely agree with things not being perfect, I don't think I want that either.
It's tough when so many things are going on at once (my dad is trying to take me to court, i thought my living situation was stable after 8 months of trying to move but one of my housemates ending up trying to break my door in last night & was harassing me, my mum is in hospital and very dependent on me, I can't stop my sisters abuse, it's transpired that various friends have ED's, I've just come out of intensive care, my eczema is flared, my mental health isn't great etc...)
I find it really hard to not think that I am the cause of it all and that somehow it's all my fault so I deserve what I get.
I can tell you that it is not all your fault, and you certainly do not deserve it. I understand the feeling though. Sometimes it is easier to take on the blame ourselves as it provides a solid single entity to direct all that frustration, fear and anxiety at.
Please, do not blame yourself. You have not made your Mum ill, and you certainly have not created your friends EDs. I am sorry your housemate has made housing unsettled for you as well - The stress of that can not be helping matters any.
These all sound very much like things which are out of your controll and that must be incredibly hard to take on board and deal with. Is there anyone you can ask for support? Any other family, or your other housemates?
Do you have professional support for your mental health, and physical health - you mentioned coming out of intensive care... do you have an after care plan?
I am sorry I do not have better words right now (feeling a bit unstable this evening). Do be gentle with yourself - you are going through a lot, but you can get through it. I can see a strength in your posts that will pull you through.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
I only live with one other girl but she's great, she's my best friend and it's amazing having her here. So that's good. My other housemate has also really hurt her but I guess we're in it together.
My care is supposed to be being reviewed after the ICU incident but I haven't heard anything about it. I don't really have any medical follow up apart from my GP doing bloods. Nobody seems to really know what's wrong with me or know what to do. I do have a psych team though.
It's hard to cope with. I have exams in a couple of weeks and still haven't started revision. I missed a week of revision time because I was ****ing unconscious in intensive care. Argh.
