Idk anymore. Lost. Confused.. :(

[Jaada]

I'm at a loss as to what I should be doing. Today is the two year anniversary of the date I miscarried my daughter, Augusta Zahara. I don't want to do this, I don't want to deal with this. I want to disappear. I want to be as destructive as I possibly can be. I don't want to live, but at the same time I don't want to live. I am bouncing in between, and I just want my Daughter. She would be 18 1/2 months now.. I just want her back. I want her here with me. I don't know what to do anymore. Gahhhhhhh. I need someone to save me from myself. Sorry, I just needed to get that out. Help?..

:...(

<3

[Pilgrim]

Hey,

firstly I wanted to say that I am really sorry for your loss... I can only imagine how much that must hurt. Just disappear and not having to think about it would just be too good, wouldn't it? The only really annoying thing is, that there is no switch for the brain.
So I would suggest that you try and get as much distraction as possible. What did you do last year? Is there anyone you could go to? Friends, family? Even if you don't want to talk about your daughter it might help just to have someone around for the day, just watching TV together, go for a walk or drink a coffee.
Did you have counselling? If yes, could you call there today in case you really don't know what to do?

Greets,
Môrlaegel

[x-love/hate/tragedy-x]

I hope you can get through this difficult time, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss :( but you have to remember you self destructing won't bring her back. Like Môrlaegel said think of ways to distract yourself and try not to be alone dwelling on it.
xxx