Contains alcohol - Downhill, again.

[Deaths_Kiss]

I'm 17. I've been a self harmer for 6 years now and its still going.

However, due to me being unable to hide my body all the time and hurting people more and more... I turned to alcohol.. At first it was just a casual drink with friends, then it got messy. Once I start I cannae stop. No matter what I do, I just can't until I know I pass out. I can barely remember any of my weekends since bonfire night last year. My friends don't know its as bad as it is, in fact... they find it 'highly amusing' when I'm drunk because I do stupid things- stupid things which have led to trouble with the police and other friends.
What they don't know is I've had 2 pregnancy scares, I've slept with I don't know how many people, I have come home with numerous injuries and I am on that much medication, I've ended up hospitalising myself by mixing them with the alcohol.. people just take advantage of you when you're not in control and it sickens me. I can't keep it up, I'm still destroying my body one way or another.
Nobody knows I'm like I am. I have to hide alcohol under my bed, I drink it until I sleep. My mother still ends up buying me booze.. to which I find it impossible to say no.
I don't know how to tell them without them thinking its a joke. I've asked them before to help me out a little, and that I drink far too much - they just laugh it off. Nobody takes me seriously anymore :(

I guess it just sounds like a rant, I just need help with it all :/ A little care wouldn't go amiss either :(

[falling-appart]

"hugs"

I guess its real easy to become hoocked on alcohol i guess as it tends to bring you away from reality and let you just live in a different world.
Its sound as though you are genuinly conccerned to a point now, and maybe this could be the turning point for you, Going cold turkey is never a good option but could you maybe try limit your intake and not buy as much as you usually would so that temptation is less for you.
Also you should seek some help and advice from your GP as they can put you in contact with all the right people and also offer you more intesive support with talking therapy and such. While you acknowlage this its best to act on it.

Sorry not much help.
All the best
ash x

[Sigma]

Yes, get some support that takes the issue seriously. Your drinking is obviously causing you problems, and that's not something to laugh off. It's also difficult when your social life revolves around alcohol - could you do things like go to the cinema, have coffee etc sometimes? Limiting the amount of time available for alcohol may help cut down the amount you drink.

[-Asphyxia-]

I feel like a hypocrite for giving you advice........But, have you ever looked into AA for "younger people?" IE: I think (at least in the US) they have meetings for people under 18 or so.......It is really great that you are recognizing this early on.

I used to hide alcohol under my bed as well because I was so miserable; I was working for the family business - I was 21 at the time - and my mom found the empty bottles and it was completely humiliating.....There is a history of alcoholism on her side, so of course I got the "bad genes..."

Tokoloshe makes a good point too: Your life shouldn't revolve around drinking...I like to go to a lot of live, local shows/concerts......which means booze and things. So I kind of got into that lifestyle, I guess.....I spent some time out with a couple of female friends tonight, and I was proud of myself for going home at a reasonable hour and not staying at the neighborhood bar when I could have easily done that.

Do you ever try to set yourself limits and/or goals when it comes to your drinking? IE: Do you try and cut back for a bit or anything?