Explaining Anxiety to my dad *may be triggering*

[lubilou]

As the title says I am going to have to tell me dad about my anxiety and try to explain it to him, I'm so nervous.

I haven't lived with my dad for 3 years and live across the country from him but see him twice a year. I am moving to live with him in two weeks and am going to have to tell him about my anxiety.

I haven't had a job since I quit in September due to my anxiety, I just couldn't handle it anymore. He has been trying to get me to get a job and I've been putting off telling him about this but I have to now as I know I'm not ready to get a job.

He phoned the other day and was suggesting an animal care course which is something I'm very interested in but just feel I couldn't cope with right now. I said I couldn't do it because I don't like leaving the house and he tried to push me further but I changed the subject. I would have started crying and I really feel like I'm letting him down.

He knows about the depression, self harm and suicide attempts around 4-5 years ago but he thinks I'm coping fine now.

I just don't know how to explain it to him, I need help. I'm so worried about letting him down and him not understanding it.

My mum still gets annoyed with me if I don't go into a shop. I wish she could feel how I feel for just 5 minutes and she might understand. I know it's difficult for people who don't have anxiety to understand but I wish they wouldn't push me so much.

[high.hopes]

I can imagine this must be really hard... Have you thought about writing him a note/letter? Sometimes it's much easier to find the right words in writing than to have to acctually say them? As for letting him down, if you could just stress your not ready just yet? Thank him for going through the effort and tell him how much it means just that your still really struggling and don't feel ready yet but you think it'd be really good if he could offer you all these options again when you feel ready?

Just be honest... And if the reaction isn't a great one then understand that you did the very best you could have done to explain it and that it isn't your fault. Sometimes people won't understand and need a helping hand to learn...

I really hope this goes well for you... & hope i've helped somehow. Kia, <3

[crazykat]

Your right it is difficult for people who don't live with anxiety to understand what we are going though. Has your dad been supportive in the past when you were struggling? I guess if you are going to live with him it will be easier if he knows about your anxiety, so he does get how difficult it is. Would writing him a letter be any easier? I hope you don't think I am being pushy by suggesting this, but the animal course might be a good goal to work towards, in the mean time it is important to take small steps to being around people again as isolating yourself will make things worse and I speak from experience. Also you might find it helpful to show your dad some information on anxiety, I found some info on AnxietyUK for you, hope it helps. Take care
Kat xxx