Oh what a plan, suicide.

LazyGun · 20-04-2011, 12:14 PM

I wrote in my Journal, that today I would end my life. I can't imagine doing it, but I can't imagine life going on. I'm polite, skinny, unhappy, anxious, miserable. Everything I've ever wanted in life, seems impossible. Every women I've ever loved has ended in absolute disaster. I can't hold a job, and the one I have now is simply too physically challenging i.e. I can't lift that much weight. I'm listening to Elliott Smith contemplating what he did to himself. Sitting here thinking of what I've done to myself so far. I just want some peace.

crazykat · 20-04-2011, 12:24 PM

I understand that you want some peace and you feel helpless but killing yourself is not the answer. Just because the relationships you have had in the past haven't worked out doesn't mean they won't in the future. Do you have any support to get you through this rough patch? Hold on there, things can get better. Take care
Kat xxx

LazyGun · 20-04-2011, 12:35 PM

It's not about them. It's just about how I cannot fathom being apart of this place any longer. I am not cut out for this. I am out of my element. A fish in space.

talaiporia · 23-04-2011, 02:26 PM

You can do this. Keep fighting. I really hope that you're okay and you're safe.
Let us know how you're doing, and go to A&E if you need to.

x-love/hate/tragedy-x · 23-04-2011, 02:37 PM

Everyone feels distant sometimes, try and find something you can really connect with even if it's a book/hobby etc, it will help distract you and close the gap between you and the world. I really hope your ok, stay strong; there is a lot of bad things in the world but there's also a lot of good, it's just sometimes difficult to see. This always makes me feel better: [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQlJ3vOp6nI"]YouTube - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) Lyrics[/ame]
xxx

crazykat · 23-04-2011, 03:42 PM

Sorry I misunderstood your post the first time around. I understand that feeling of being out of your element, I have been there. One thing I do know is that feelings change so don't lose hope. Please reach out for support from those around you if you feel like you will act on your thoughts. Hold on there
Kat xxx

Isoverity · 23-04-2011, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LazyGun

IEvery women I've ever loved has ended in absolute disaster.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. When I look back at some of the girls I liked the most I could drop to me knees and give thanks I got away from them lol. If you're self-sabotaging it could be you're making the girl too important. That's a common mistake guys make. Girls like that for awhile and then they hate it and nuke the guy.