Dancing to the wrong song

[adygriffith]

Right, i guess this is now the place for me to ask for help, since ive managed to not cut for something like 5-6weeks now.

I still feel so wrong inside tho, over the last couple of days ive really tried to make an effort on this forum to make people happy and create a safe enviroment for me to go to when i feel down, in a way i feel what i have done is successful....but it doesnt change the horrible darkness left inside me.

I feel like someone in a club hearing a completely different song to everyone else, its hard to explain, but inside my brain always tells me negatives, i focus on negatives about myself and enjoy doing that.

I dont know why im even typing, ideally i just want my brain to shut up and life to carry on as "normal" but i know that reality isnt for me..

Sorry i should of prob posted this in the journel or vent bit,

I just want to help myself for once, but i dont know where to start

sorry all
x

[fallen wings44]

i know how you feel *hugs you*
pm me if you ever want or ever need to
and theres no need to say sorry you did nothing wrong you deserve support just like anyone esle ok?
*hugs you*

[beets]

You said you haven't cut for 5-6 weeks - that is so fantastic and you should be so proud of yourself! But every day is going to be a struggle.

Have you sought out any sort of help or counselling to deal with why you started cutting in the first place? When I stopped I didn't really deal with anything for years and it wasn't until I treated my depression and worked on my self esteem that I really started to feel "normal"-ish. Unfortunately it does happen with a lot of hard work but the important part is that it does happen.

Please feel free to PM me any time you want to talk or feel that you need any support.

Take care of yourself and stay strong.

[adygriffith]

Thankyou both for your kind words.
I see two counsellors and a GP weekly (my university really supports me)

Thanks again,

[beets]

One thing that might help you overcome the strong negative talk that you have is to get the Self-Esteem Workbook. I did this and it really helped me to change some of my thinking. It gets you to realize your intrinsic worth and value and really helped me to start liking myself.

[Uglyducklin]

Sorry you so low and this is useless.Just wanted to leave hugsxx