Contains Suicide - When the thought of SI is not enough
So... I have been severely triggered for several weeks now. Doing my best to distract, being honest with my doc and therapist, doing the things that I am supposed to do to try and remain safe. I feel that I am now out of options. Was just informed that I am layed off from my job, future looks so bleak that I don't know that SI is going to be enough to make this pain go away. I need help, I need help bad, what do I do now, where do I turn. Doc office hasn't returned my call, therapist hasn't returned my call.
I am desparate, alone, hurting, I want to make this all go away. I know how, that is the easy part for all of us. Please, I am begging, what do I do now.
I know that I am going to SI now, that is a given, but I don't think it will be enough
*hugs* I wish I could add more but I'm not doing so hot myself... Just wanted you to know I read and leave hugs.
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
try and ring the doc and therapist again. do you have any support at home? like.. family or close friends?
sorry don't have any more useful advice for you. I know it sucks to get laid off your job, but that doesn't mean you wont get another job in the future.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Doc called back, not going to change anything right now. I need to give the medicine more time to work. What a crock of $hit! Not sure how I am going to make it through the day, much less waiting a few more weeks for the meds to work.
Year and a half without cutting has gone down the drain, now counting in minutes I can do without.
Wife was with me for a while, then she went to bed. I don't have the strength to tell her what goes on inside my head, I am embarrassed, ashamed, afraid of what she will think of me.
Appt with therapist tomorrow, not looking forward to it. I know I need to share what is going on in my head, I know I need to tell her that I started cutting again, but, as always, afraid of the consequences of sharing. Will I end up inpatient again? I am bad off, but I don't know that i am that bad off yet.
