|
Haven't posted in a while....
It has been years since I have posted... I think in fact the last time was right when we switched from ruin to recover. I'v traded one addiction to another. I used to cut myself to feel good, to stop anger and saddness, just when I was bored. Then I found my husband, and after we got married I thought it would be great. But now I'm totally addicted to food. I knew I had an unhealthy eating problem, but not as serious as it is. I have gained over xlbs. And I know part of that was also because of going on birthcontrol, but my eating didn't help. The gain was so slow that I just keep thinking well, its just alittle bit, my husband still loves me. And I know he does still, but I hate myself. I think Im ugly and gross. I see other women of all sizes and they are all pretty, but not me. It crosses my mind that maybe if I started cutting again, instead of eating that would solve my problems, because really I wasn't cutting that bad.... just enought for me. I think I also think I may have so mental health issue that could be helpped by meds. But Im just so scared of the doctors, because either they aren't going to take me seriously and write everything off just because Im overweight, or just something because my husband is mititary, and getting military doctors to treat people isnt easy. I don't know why Im even writing, I guess I just needed to write things out somewhere I know people who read it wont judge. If you made it this far thanks for reading. Hope everyone is doing well out there.
Last edited by sherlock holmes : 14-04-2011 at 02:17 PM.
Reason: removed numbers as these are not allowed
|
