i get so angry

[insidemyhead]

this is due to someone who i know on levels im not willing to explain. They're manipulative and attention seek to know ends and they're know the right words to say even though its bullsh*t in order to make people react. They dont have mental distress or any form of real despair and pain in life they just do this in order to push people around and gain attention.

Im not talking about a person whos crying out for help and therefore people percieve they're acting as an attention seeker. Its they throw a pebble just to make people react! You know them the genuine people who attention seek not the ones who everyone else thinks are attention seeking or have real mental pain behind the ways they act.

And then this person gets brilliant reactions gets good care in community and whatnot. People actually take her seriously when she never does anything. I actually act on the things an people never take me seriously, ive not lied to get attention i never deliberately manipulate people to give me attention and i certainly dont be horrible to people to give me attention... i never go out of my way to make professionals jobs worse im entirely the oppossite the only times ive required hospital attention was other people taking me/ringing the ambulance and i was polite and thankful for their time. Why is it everwhere i go i get aweful and unproffessional treatment. Im angry at proffessionals envious that people treat her well where i just get treated like a doormatt or worse and im angry at her for treating people this way i dont know how she can do it! I really dont i dont understand how someone can treat people like that! I know there probably are underlying problems for why she acts this way i just dont get how you can do it, its like everyone the oppossite of me is the right thing to be and im just something to be shoved in the dirt and forgotten!

I hope this doesnt cause offence i am trying to be reasonable but right now im irrational so im sorry

[insidemyhead]

You all hate me for this don't you?? I only hoped someone wouldunderstand Where I'm coming from. I just get lost and hurt as I truly am all alone I'm left to destruct and destroy my very being I know it's my responsiblity to look after myself but when noone even attempts to remotely care it crushes the caring aspect of me why should I fight for myself when I'm not worth it and everyone agreees with me then people like this come along and just urgh it makes my heart shout

[Pops.]

*cuddles you* I'm sure nobody hates you lovely. I wish I had some good advice, or something useful to say, but I'm low on words. I understand where your frustration comes from though, especially considering the way you have been treated by the MH team. xxx

[shadowdancer]

I know exactly how you feel hun. *hugs*
My ex-girlfriend was just like that, and she used everything that I told her in order to get the attention she wanted. Everything I confided in her ended up as one of her own problems a week or so later.
Needless to say, now we've split up there's absolutely nothing wrong with her. Strange.

I know this probably doesn't help you, and I wish I knew how I could, but I'd just like you to know that someone else can empathise with you and you're not alone.
I still have awful surges of anger towards her (even though it's been two years since we split now) so I'm afraid I can't help you with that either. Just.. don't keep it bottled up. Don't take it out on yourself. That's what I did and it doesn't help.

I hope things get better for you and that you get treated better by the professionals that you see..

[insidemyhead]

Thank you both you're replies both mean alot and im really glad someone can empathise with me shadow dancer and know where im coming from and knowing what im really trying to explain thank you and im sorry you went through that but you dont have to deal with such behaviour any more it really does pull on your strings. Im glad i didnt come across and ignorant selfish and completely uneducated by what i was saying so thanks