I can't take the pain anymore, its come on so strong and it won't go. I want to kill myself now, I know exactly what to do I just need to get there. everything is planned out, I know it will work.
This pain is just too strong, its far stronger than me, it hurts so much, all I can see is death and my plan.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Hey Oliver, you don't need to kill yourself. I mean, who would fill your place at the Liverpool meets? I would miss you and I know there are others that would too.
Suicide's a serious option to contemplate. It's very final and it's very real. Yes, it might stop your problems but then really, what will it achieve? Suicide is a massive leap into the unknown and you never know, what if the next life is worse than this one? People care about you, Oliver, and I don't even want to guess how they would cope with losing you. They'd miss you very much.
What is 'too much' right now? Perhaps talking about everything that feels wrong with your life at this moment will calm you down and make you feel more rational about life and what you want with it. Is this plan for suicide a wish to die or a wish for all this pain to end? There's a difference, I hope you see it and I hope you know the answer to that question without thinking. Either way, if you come back to this thread then we'll support you through each option.
Is there anyone that can be with you tonight? Anyone who knows what's happening with your thoughts and feelings and so be able to help you?
Don't be sorry, I apologise if I sounded harsh in my post before. I didn't mean to be. I just don't want anything to happen to you!
It sounds as though you are conflicted. You kind of want to die and you want this pain to end. I'm not sure whether there is a distinction here or whether the thoughts have all merged into one. Do you know why you feel like this?
I guess that there is some safety in thinking about death and its consequences, depending on your mindset. It can almost feel like an escape from the world when things get too much. As the pressure piles on, you think, at least if I screw it up then I can die. This exacerbates if you have a plan set out. Do you want to explain what is safe about the consequences?
I hope you can keep yourself safe tonight, Oliver.
You don't have to be sorry. Never be sorry for how you feel. Emotions are never wrong because we can't help feeling them and usually, they are the result of an outside force and often, that is at fault, not us.
It sounds as though you want an escape. It sounds as though feelings are getting on top of you and you don't want to feel - it's too painful. Getting through another day can be hard, especially when you are fighting so many things internally whilst appearing so stable externally. What sort of feelings are too painful for you? If, of course, you feel able to talk about them.
Can you pinpoint what it is about death that is appealing to you?
I have to go to bed now but please take care of yourself. Don't hesitate to drop me a line if you need. I'll reply to this thread in the morning. Take care.
Just because I'm smiling it doesn't mean I'm Happy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm not actually sure about that.
I am currently:
If you did, you would have no idea what you might be missing. Something wonderful might be right around the corner, and you would give it up. Cimcumstances change...
can you talk any more about your pain, what it's caused by, what brought you to this position? suicide isn't the way to go, it would haev effects you didn't even realise. x
