My life has turned upside down.

SheHasHope · 05-04-2011, 05:30 AM

So much has happened in the past week. This exact time last Monday I was feeling suicidal and I talked to my best friend about it over FaceBook. Well, her mom found the conversation, freaked out, and sent it to the school nurse.

Next thing I know I'm called out of my Pre-Cal class and sitting in the counselor's with the conversation printed out and in my hands. She makes me sign a "no harm" form and she tells me my mom is on her way. She tells me I have to be released to my mom and I couldn't come back to school until I got a psychological evaluation. I asked her if I was going to have to stay in a hospital, and she said I probably would.

My mom spends the day crying and calling psychiatrists/psychologists for the evaluation. The next day I go to the evaluation. He reads the conversation and gets this face like he's absolutely disgusted. He asks a bunch of questions about my self injury, some that don't even seem necessary. The psychiatrist comes in for about a minute tops and prescribes me prozac and then leaves. The guy with the face lectures me for 15 minutes on how I should stop self injuring and lists risks involved.

...

Anyways. I have to go to a therapist this week and I'm really afraid. What kind of questions are they going to ask? What should I expect? How much longer am I going to have to stay on Prozac?

This is very new to me, and nobody in my family has ever been to a therapist so I have no idea what's going to happen. I'm trying really hard not to cope with this with self injury, but each day is harder and harder. The medication is making me feel like crap, emotionally and physically, and I really have no motivation to fight the battles in the real world while the battle inside my head as at its most vicious.

Any comments concerning the therapist or just this situation are appreciated. I feel really alone right now.

MayhemBee · 05-04-2011, 08:40 AM

That seesm to have happened very suddenly. :/
From what i know, they should talk to you about 'underlying propblems' and the reasons behind your SI. Hope this helps. :)

stmx_ · 05-04-2011, 09:22 AM

First, see if at all possible you can discuss one-on-one. I was never, ever able to discuss anything with therapists with my parents in the room, and that was even before SI.

Another thing, seeing a therapist isn't a failure or anything; after all, what is therapy but confrontation and hopefully alleviation of a problem? Just be open and remember it's not a bad thing. There was a point just a couple months ago where I asked my parents to set me up with a therapist voluntarily.

I don't know, there's just this stigma of "therapists" and "shrinks" that really doesn't need to be there, it's totally a positive thing if you want to make it one.

You'll do great.

BridgesAndBalloons · 05-04-2011, 03:37 PM

It sounds like things have moved very quickly and it's a lot to take in. The therapist might just want you to describe the situation you're in, in your own words. Also, they might want you to say why you think you might be in need of help, and share any thoughts you have as to why you're suicidal and why you self harm.

Therapy can be hard at first but once you adjust to it it can be very helpful. As already said, just be open and honest and try and answer any questions as best you can. Sometimes it's a case of the more you put in the more you'll get out of it.

Also remember that you can ask questions too if you want to, you can talk to a therapist about your worries/concerns etc. I find writing down a little bullet point list of things can help. Things thoughts on why I self harm, what I get out of self harming, why I'm depressed etc. I write questions down too that I want to ask or things I want to discuss, so questions about medication and therapy, what their plans for me might be, what the usual procedure is etc etc.

I hope it goes well for you.

SheHasHope · 06-04-2011, 02:03 AM

Thanks for your replies. Really means a lot.
I think the therapist appointment is this Friday.
I forgot to take my medication today and I feel so much better. But I guess I should take it until I get the O.K. to quit?

Like I said. I'm new to this.

talaiporia · 06-04-2011, 06:16 AM

Keep taking it til they tell you not to.
Good luck on Friday.

BridgesAndBalloons · 06-04-2011, 10:34 AM

I'd keep taking it. Anti-depressants take a while to build up in your system so you might not feel the positive effects for around 4-6 weeks. So taking them regularly would really give them the best chance to work for you. Maybe you could get into a routine of taking them after something you do everyday. For example, I take mine after my breakfast and coffee every morning and then after I brush my teeth at night. That way taking medication is worked into my normal everyday routine so it makes remembering to take them a lot easier.