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Graphic - I cant even look at u. Tiggering!!!!!!!!!!!
I know this is in the wrong thread im sorry guys. Im exhausted and Im not writing that shit again. Im sorry had to get this out of me. It feels like a sickness I get be healed from.
Weve been living together now for bout 5 months. I thought it was gonna be easy us roommating. I FUCKING asked u if youd be dating. you said, "Jason when would I have time for that" Im so stupid, I should have known with you thats impossible. You cant stand to be alone. So you used me, until u found someone else. You say you dont want me to ask you anything concerning your new life, with all your friends, family, and bf. Find, you wonder why Ive started having these FUCKING anxiety attacks. Its bc of you!!! YOu act so happy and all, and Im right here watching it. Helpless. I HATE YOU!!! I literally cant even look at u without wanting to beat the shit out of myself. Theres a part of me that want to beat the shit out of you. But for some reason I still love you somewhere in all this. I always will. I HATE myself for that. Bc I know after everything weve been through over the last 14years, you dont love me. but I do love u. It makes me so mad at myself. These cuts and burns.............I just cant take it. You talk to me and I just want you to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! leave me alone. Youve got what you wanted you selfish bitch. I dont say a word to u bout your life. After all these years and u dont give a shit about me. HOW???? I invested every single piece of me to u!! I Have nothing now. I see u and all I can think about is you and the kids all happy and a family with him. You r so beautiful on the outside, but youve changed on the inside, your cold, heartless, just so inconsiderate to me. IM RIGHT FUCKING HERE!! you had better get your act together, better get a good job, bc The second this lease is up, im gone. FUCK YOU!!! You need help, u can go to your bf. I honestly hope he cheats on you again and again. Maybe youll get an STD, you stupid slut. I hope he leaves you one day out of the blue for another woman. I hope you feel my pain. I hope it makes you want to die!! What little love I have for you still, is fading away. I really hope you r fine with trading 14 years for 2. Your relationship is founded on mistrust, and I hope it ends that way to. Never in a million years did I think I would be capable of feeling so much hatred for u. I will never lay a hand on u. I will take all the hatred and let it out the only way I know how to. On myself. FUCK you, you are know longer worth my time. Id rather cut myself open than even look at you. Bye.
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