i hate hate hate it when i self-harm for no apparent reason other then to try out a "new tool". i found something new and thought i would see what it could do. i didnt even feel triggered or upset...nothing.
this happens more often then not. i feel like maybe it is becasue i am not ready to give up cutting completely...and even though i am happy and doing well at the moment i still need an excuse to cut.
i dont know, does anyone else feel this way?
take one step at a time, keep your head held high, and your eyes on Him, always.
Oh man, I can really relate on this one. I find myself having urges all the time, even when I am not uspet. Literally, cutting is on my mind every day sometimes. I hate it too!
Like you, I have to wonder if that means I am not ready to give it up yet. Hmmm....
Mannnn, I totally do, too. I bought some new "tools" today and had to test them out. Granted, I was also freaking about my Spanish assignments, but I still get where you're coming from. I just takes my mind off of the crap that's going on.
I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm not ready.
Someone give me Disneyland
Take me there to Disneyland
And when I get to Disneyland
I'll stay!
I have had a similar frustration. I've gone six or seven months without self-harming and last night slipped up. I consider it a slip-up because I wasn't using it to cope, there was no release, it was just acting out a habit I'd had for almost four years.
I think it's natural to turn to self-harm even when we don't necessarily need it. It's worked in the past, it's a habit. The best thing to do is not get down on ourselves, take care of the injuries, and move on to do better :).
My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)
I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.
I can totally, totally relate.
Even when I'm not triggered, upset or worrying, sometimes I'll just feel like I want to. To remember how it feels, to make sure I haven't become 'immune' to its effects maybe. Even when I am completely happy, I will sometimes find myself looking for excuses.
Maybe try to keep yourself busy, or remind yourself of the good things in your life right now. Tell yourself you don't need to do this. I always find doing something that I can reward myself for afterwards, like making something helps. Or just trying to have a laugh. :)
i can totally relate. i self harm with no reason. sometime even out of boredem. (sorry spellings terrible) yeah i sometime self harm because i am bored, sometimes because i want to, and sometimes because im upset etc.
it is always on my mind everyday and sometimes i do it to get it off my mind.
Wow- as many other users have said, I can really really relate.
There are those days when I'm feeling pretty good... but then I self harm anyway. Sometimes I don't even really want to :/ A lot of times it comes after I haven't harmed in a few days. That really gives me an urge to do it..
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I do this too, and hate that I do it. Sometimes I seek out something to trigger me so I feel like I'm not doing it for no reason even though I know I am (I don't know if that makes any sense)
