It's hard for me to put. I haven't cut in months, I haven't had the need or the want to anymore.
Recently, though, I have dealt with a lot. My mom was evicted, I've started to get down on myself a lot, my grades have slipped, and I have been slowly becoming depressed again. To top that all off, today my friend and I got into a fight, which I personally think I didn't cause. But, I was so upset over it and it happened at school, so I had to keep it all in. But, I ended up cutting myself when I got home. It was such a relief. It was like everything felt better. I felt numb, but it was like all these pent up feelings just came out. I wanted to tell myself that this is what got me into therapy and on pills, but after everything that happened, that seemed like the only thing to get me through.
...I don't know what to do. It feels like I've come so far and now I'm pulled back all the way to the beginning. Help?
Last edited by ali120894 : 16-03-2011 at 08:38 PM.
Reason: misspelling
"Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything, than just to get lost, in all my selfish thoughts." ~Turn It Off, Paramore
"She's addicted to the song lyrics that spill out her heart for her."
I try to think of relapses not as the new start of something bad or the end of something good, more of just a mistake. You have done so os well to go without SH even if you think you didn't have a need to, just because you have relapsed doesn't necessarily mean you've undone all the good work. If you keep the mindset that you slipped up rather than you've restarted to SH it may be easier to avoid relapsing again.
I try to think of relapses not as the new start of something bad or the end of something good, more of just a mistake. You have done so os well to go without SH even if you think you didn't have a need to, just because you have relapsed doesn't necessarily mean you've undone all the good work. If you keep the mindset that you slipped up rather than you've restarted to SH it may be easier to avoid relapsing again.
I hope everything gets better for you <3
Thank you so much! I never though of it like that. I'm just having trouble with thinking that I might be starting this nightmare all over again
"Seems like it's getting harder to believe in anything, than just to get lost, in all my selfish thoughts." ~Turn It Off, Paramore
"She's addicted to the song lyrics that spill out her heart for her."
I'm not sure there's much help I can give, but, it's really great you went for months without SI :) Just wanted to congratulate you on that. You'll be able to get through this- you've got the strength! I hope you're doing alright and coping :) Send a PM if you want to talk.
*hugs*
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
the nightmare won't start over if you catch it now, before it grows. this is a few steps back, not a giant hand picking you up and putting you back at the start line somewhere back in all the dark and hard stuff.
maybe it would help to have a plan for what to do if you get triggered. that way you wouldn't have to think up something in the moment when you have the urge. what sort of things can you try to help you cope? is there anyone you trust that you can talk to? they don't even have to be able to give advice, just a listening ear can be massively helpful.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
