Relationship question

x_Electrify · 03-09-2007, 08:07 PM

How many morals/ beliefs should you give up in a relationship... just to make the person you're with happy? There's stuff i've said i'd never do... mainly because i'm meant to be Christian.

But i'm beginning to wonder if i'm going to end up losing someone i really like, just for the sake of a few decisions i made, before i even started having feelings like this for people.

I'm not being forced/ pressurised into anything. I just think it would be better if i were to rethink.. even though a part of me thinks that i'll end up regretting it someday.

Anyone follow that? Any advice? Thanks in advance...

Day Tripper · 03-09-2007, 08:11 PM

What exactly are your morals that you're considering giving up for this person? I can make assumptions but would prefer to not.

Is this person really worth the guilt and regret that you might possibly feel later on?

If this person is willing to leave you because you have morals are they worth what you're considering giving up?

x_Electrify · 03-09-2007, 08:15 PM

Erm... morals as in... i kind of believed there was kissing, hugging etc... then sex. And pretty much everything else was unneccessary and immoral. But he obviously doesn't agree...

And he wouldn't leave me, but i know he gets frustrated when his mates rip the piss out of him for not getting laid everynight etc, which i guess is understandable for a young guy in our culture..

I woudln't regret it, in the way that this is what i want now... and 10 years in the future, it'll be what i wanted then.

Disarm · 03-09-2007, 09:00 PM

In my personal opinion, he sounds a little immature. What does it matter if he doesn't have sex every night? In the great scheme of things, what does it matter if his friends make a big deal out of it? It shouldn't just have to be about sex, and he should be able to understand that.

Just what I think. *shrugs*

Lluviazul · 03-09-2007, 09:51 PM

oh dont give up your beliefs for nobody...

svenn · 05-09-2007, 05:00 AM

*hugs*
if he loves you then he will not pressure you to do something that you do not wan to. being a guy he might whine a bit, but that would be the extent. love means respect and it sounds like he is respecting you. f**k his friends. guys talk like that and it does not mean anything. it is just male b.s. morals are very important and while morals do change, those changes come from within and not because someone wants something form you.

sorry that was a bit of a rant.

shushyface · 05-09-2007, 05:47 PM

everyone questions their beliefs and morals from time to time.

If you start to feel differently about a belief you had before that doesnt necessarily equal a bad thing. just don't go changing for someone else, any decision you make has to be for you and not for anyone else!

Health hazard · 05-09-2007, 08:08 PM

I'm sorry sweetie you are just going to have to have to work it out yourself.

Moral are important. I wouldn't change your morals for something else, but if you want to change your morals because you are not sure they are right anymore, then I see no problem with that.

It's your choice sweetie, but whatever happens, make sure you think very hard about it before you do anything.

x

random.swirls · 07-09-2007, 12:58 PM

I agree with Dani, your morals and beliefs are yours and only you can decide to change them. Change them for the right reason though because you have to live with it for the rest of your life.

If you arent sure or are questioning your morals why not look them up and do some googling.

xoox

x_Electrify · 07-09-2007, 06:14 PM

Thanks for all your replies. We talked and he's totally fine with everything. We're just not as close as we were... because it's like i've put up barriers/ boundaries or something. And with him/ me, it's always really been all or nothing. Bit annoying... lol. Thanks again for the input.

.ghost. · 08-09-2007, 10:05 AM

Not having sex shouldn't make you more distant from each other, if anything it should make serious relationships more meaningful to prove that it's not all about the pshyscial side of the relationship.

I think you should think about what you want out of this relationship. If you want to have a serious and close relationship, I really don't think he sounds like the kind of guy who wants the same.
If you want a more pyhsical relationship and want to change your morals then go ahead, it's you choice, but I don't really think relationships sohuld be all or nothing.

Glad you talked to him about it though, I know plently of people who wouldn't stand up for what they belived in so well done =]
xx