I decided I wanted to stop self harming when it had been causing more problems that it was solving for far too long. I didn't like how it hurt my loved ones but mostly I didn't like how it hurting me, both emotionally and physically.
When I had a particularly bad day and cut three different times. My mom touched me on the shoulder (about something completely unrelated) and I threw her off and started screaming not to touch me. The fear in her eyes made up my mind.
"Never forget that someone told you they loved you, even if you forget who that person was."
Well, I haven't been able to give up completely (I keep screwing up every 3 months to a year) but recently, I looked down at my wounds and thought, "I don't want this anymore." I don't want anymore scars... Hopefully the other night was my last time...
I didn't stop right then, but it made me think about it and really pushed me onto that path. I'd been saying that I wanted to stop (without actually putting any effort into it) for a bit and not showing results and a friend asked me if I actually WANTED to recover. It just made me think.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
After going to hospital for an overdose I thought about the panic my parents must have gone through when they found me, and I realised that if I didn't stop I would just keep bouncing back into hospital, hurting them and me, and getting nowhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demons to Some
I decided I wanted to stop self harming when it had been causing more problems that it was solving for far too long. I didn't like how it hurt my loved ones but mostly I didn't like how it hurting me, both emotionally and physically.
And this; I woke up and realised with such clarity... that self harm doesn't solve anything.
I decided I wanted to stop self harming when it had been causing more problems that it was solving for far too long. I didn't like how it hurt my loved ones but mostly I didn't like how it hurting me, both emotionally and physically.
This. Secondly, I didn't want to go too far and wind up doing serious damage to myself.
Last edited by Celticroots : 10-04-2011 at 12:34 AM.
I decided I wanted to stop self harming when it had been causing more problems that it was solving for far too long. I didn't like how it hurt my loved ones but mostly I didn't like how it hurting me, both emotionally and physically.
this is what I was getting at
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Similarly to other posts, I just reached a point where I realised I deserved better than this. I deserve to look after and treat myself, and I deserve to be able to wear what I want and do what I want. I wanted my money to go on sweets and cake and flowers and jewellery, not on pills or razors or bandage equipment.
I don't know if that makes me sound too egotistical, but yeah.
My mother's reaction- she blamed herself. I saw how bad I had hurt her, and that served as a "wake up call" for me. As each day passes I face new challenges and hardships that I otherwise wouldn't have had to face, and that helps keep me set on never going back.
When life hands you lemons, make orange-juice...
...Then sit backand watch everyone wonder how you did it.
I have only had one instance of SI. But what keeps me from doing it again, is the shame I carry with me knowing how I hurt my family, and how I almost never got to see my niece for the first time.
Sometimes it upsets me to know what I did to my family, and I want to show myself that I can be strong and successful. I have overcome several addictions and am fighting every day to remain focused on the one goal I have for myself: To be able to be the best person I can be, the best man I can be, and I hope when the day comes to be the best father I can be.
