I feel guilty for posting or complaining but I'm really not doing well. I keep seeing myself jumping from this bridge near me and I really want to go and do it. Can I have some support?
Last edited by when.will.it.end : 21-03-2011 at 08:24 PM.
Heya, sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. And dont apologise for the way that you are feeling, nobody would choose to feel as crap as you obviously do. Has anything happened to trigger this today?? Please try and stay strong.
Lot's has been happening recently. I had an appointment today and ran into my psych, which was awful. I've got essays to do but I'm too tired to concentrate. I really want out.
Take a minute to catch your breath.Could you get an essay extension? (((HUGS)))
SERENITY is my RYL mum.
SOLO is my RYL auntie.
SEFKA is my RYL daughter.
DAYS GONE BYE is my RYL sister.
JEFFERSON.MERIWETHER is my RYL son.
OLINESS is my RYL son.
*hugs*
Please keep talking to us. You won't feel this way forever, there is always hope.
How was your appointment?
Why was it awful running into your psych?
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I've already got an extension, this is the extended deadline if you know what I mean. It was awful because I'm crap with inconsistency, I was supposed to have an appointment with him about a week after I got discharged (30th Dec) and I still haven't had one, feel let down & hate it.
Appointment was horrible. Sorry to be so negative. Finding it really hard to trust them. Keep thinking that they are going to turn abusive, or get the police to hold me down, or randomly section me or discharge me. Keep dissociating everywhere and they don't know how to handle it.
I've just scratched the fuck out of my legs, they're bleeding everywhere. My head is pounding. I saw my family at the weekend and it's clear that they hate me, so it's OK for me to die? Please please let it be OK??
I really really think it wouldn't matter if I went, it's just my little sister...
Its okay that you want to die, you cant help how you feel. I hope you can stay strong. It does sound like a really hard time that you are going through.
Keep talking to us.
Have you got some medical stuff to clean up your legs, you dont want an infection or anything!
AAnd I know what you mean about the psych... I'm terrified of them too.
I feel like I'm gona pass out. No idea why. Everything hurts Can't do this anymore. sorry
Have you taken an od? Only the comment above, plus your most recent stating you are still alive makes me worry a little.
I am sorry you are struggling so much right now. Have you let them know that you are scared they may section you? It might be that in voicing your fears they can help to dissipate them.
Also, in bumping into your psych - Is your worry that you would be chastised for not seeing them sooner? Are you due an appointment with them anytime soon when you can voice how you are feeling right now.
Be gentle with yourself.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
yeah I've let them know. I was freaked about bumping into my psych cos I would have wanted to see him months ago but I still don't have an appointment. I don't really know why this freaks me out.
I'm sorry to complain. But I feel awful. I have work to do and I can't concentrate. I want to starve myself into oblivion. Surely if I died from that it wouldn't be suicide? I keep thinking if i get my essays done then I can go and let this whole thing ride out. I could get trashed later and go down there, and just jump. Sorry. Again.
I don't know why I feel awful. Probably the abuse and shit.
I'm really drunk. I could go to the bridge nor, nobody would know, i'd be so free and it would be awesome. really, really, amazing and awesome.
I think I might go down now. Sorry peeople. You've done so much to help already. xxx
Please don't hurt yourself :( *hugs* You are loved so very much, and would definitely be missed. We all care about you! And so many other people do too. I really hope you're alright. Never hesitate to send a PM if you want to talk.
*hugs and love*
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I just told my psychologist what I'd been thinking. Shit. She's phoning my psych and my CPN, I really hope they don't come and get me I'm terrified now. I don't need or want to be stopped.
*hugs* This sounds like such a dreadfully horrible time for you. Just remember whatever happens will probably be for the best in the long run, it may not feel like it now but things can and will improve.
It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you may even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time - Abraham Lincoln
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and comedy for those who think - La Bruyere
If you cannot be the poet, be the poem - David Carradine
I'm still alive. Obviously. I keep not going down there. I don't know what this means. I'm going home today, away from the city with the bridge so I'll be safe all weekend with my mum.
But I'm freaking out. Some more.
My head is all over the place and I hate it. I don't understand anything, everything is confusing. I'm so in my head I hardly know where I am. I don't know what to do to help. I don't know if I'm just trying to make myself ill which is ridiculous. I just don't have a clue right now. I'm panicking.
thats good to hear hun someone who can keep you company and distrated for awhile
why you freaking out hun?
i think you could do with having a rest for the weekend with your mum
and think things throught
and then maybe talking to one of your professional people when the weekend is over
hugs sorry im bit useless at the momment
young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly
she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............
I really need some help. I'm a mess and getting worse. I really don't know what to do, who to go to, what to say or how to deal with this.
I can't eat or drink. I can't sleep. My eczema is flared up. Everything is confusing. I'm so exhausted. I collapsed in the shower crying hysterically and couldn't get myself up. I phoned my mum and she couldn't help. I should be in lectures right now. I have to pack my stuff, write essays, get back to people, get myself dressed, get myself on a train but I'm hysterical and none of that is happening. I hate myself. I wish I was dead.
.gif "rose")
I'm terrified now. I don't need or want to be stopped. 
