Contains ED - It has taken everything from me

[[LittleMonster]]

This may trigger, so please be careful.

It's only today that I've really realised how much my depression and eating disorder have taken from me.

For 3 years of my life, I was and still am a emotional wreck.
I'm depressed and the ed is wrecking my health and my life.

Throughout my A-Levels I was bad and suicidal. I self-harmed a lot.
My work suffered but I still managed to get ABB at a-level which I'm proud of. But without it I could have done better, I could have enjoyed my life

I'm at university, and I hate it. I hate the course which is getting me down a lot and I spend my days around my ED and their behaviours

My illnesses have taken away:

• My friends
• My health
• My education

And they tore apart my family & my relationship with my boyfriend.
But more importantly, it took away my happiness and took away my identity.

I was happy, carefree, intelligent, motivated, bursting with energy, I loved life - it was perfect.
All of that has gone.

But you know what?
I'm sick of this
I'm tired of being depressed , hating my image, my life.
I'm going to claim it back

I'm going to do it for real this time
It's going to be hard but it will be damn well worth it

I'm gonna claim my life & my happiness back.

It's got to happen.

[[SundayGirl]]

Kate, i love this.
please keep this frame of mind.
You are more than what you think of yourself, your wonderful & you can be whatever you want to be as long as you believe in yourself.
You are amazing & i believe in you.
Stay positive and never give up.
x

[[LittleMonster]]

Thank you darling
I know it's not going to be easy staying positive, but I'll make sure I only read my positive rants & threads, tell myself it's worth it

I need to do this and I hope you can too!
xx

[[LittleMonster]]

Thank you so much :)
Must keep positive eh!
xxx

[BridgesAndBalloons]

This sounds wonderfully positive and determined. Maybe you could print out your first post and keep it somewhere you'll see it, like on a bedroom wall, or in the front cover of a journal (if you keep one), to inspire you and remind you why you want to recover, and keep you motivated. (hope you don't mind me suggesting that )

[~ Bittersweet Memories ~]

i like this alot
you deserve to be happy...i've seen you struggle in the past and i wish you all the luck in the world
it will be hard but when you achieve it,it will be something to be jolly proud of

if you need to talk im always here

katy

xxxx

[[LittleMonster]]

Thank you both :)

You too Katy
xxx

[Lyddie]

Awh Kate, this is an amazing post!
Keep on re-reading it, especially when things get tough.
I know that you can beat this.
Stay strong and keep fighing, lovely
xx

[[LittleMonster]]

:)

Thank you Lyddie,
Still fighting :)
xxx

[Gone.]

I'm glad you're still fighting. Stay strong. You can do this, Kate :)

[paper11]

You can do it :) Stay strong and you can have the life you once had!! It is definitely not tooo late! This was lovely to read and i hope you succeed!!!! x

[Pi.R^2]

well done Katie, that's an awesome post, and I really hope it and all these comments encourage to keep being so positive.
pm me or inbox me on facebook if you're ever having a bad day and need some motivation; I am a wonderfully cheesy optimist when necessary :)

[Uglyducklin]

I LOVE THIS Kate,Behind you all the wayxx

[[LittleMonster]]

Awhh thanks guys
It's lovely that you're all so supportive.
I'm having a real bad few days, I'm still eating but feeling really unsafe, gonna keep going though. Haven't given in yet, hope it lasts.

[muzzii]

It's so good that you haven't given in despite feeling really unsafe. You can do this. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. xx