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(possibly triggering)I am what you hoped me not to be
Hi, I haven't been here awhile.
Today I talked to a friend of mine who is struggling. I was here for her support, and I am fine with this because I have been doing well for a long while now, thankfully.
Anyways, we were talking on the phone. She knows alot about me. We recently re-connected after years of seperation. were talking tonight and she said "I'm so glad that you dont cut...". This bugs me alot! I have been hiding my true self, my true emotions since the beginning of this year, because I entered a new school. When se said that she was glad I dont cut, i felt like screaming to her "i do! i do!" or "i have! I have!" I wanted to let her know that shes not alone, that I understand her more than anyone else. But i couldn't, i just couldn't let her know, and i couldnt let her in.
I'm sorry that this is so crazily written. I'm just triggered and all over the place. I havent talked to someone about the cutting for so long. I long for a support system, possibly one at school, but i havent been able to open up to anybody.
thanks for listening, feel free to repond or PM me.
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